I almost find it aggravating how many touching moments I have had this summer because then I want to write them down so that I do not forget.
My patients speak such wise words... I find it both a blessing and tragedy that people often learn the most important truths about life when they are faced with death. For example, when a patient with only months left tells you: "I expect to hear you play a song on the piano this time next year", you know it is time to start dabbling on those keys.
Today I had a patient who began showing signs of ALS (https://health.google.com/health/ref/Amyotrophic+lateral+sclerosis) in April, and lays in her bed almost completely paralyzed today. I didn't talk to this woman very much, but the few conversations we had left my heart aching. She had no appetite, no mobility, a tube feeding into her stomach, immense pain, and a horrible prognosis. And she was only in her 50's. She has 5 children and 7 grandchildren, and the chances of her seeing another birth or wedding are slim. How do you cope with something like this? How do go from a full functioning life to having a doctor tell you that within months you will soon be unable to speak? Before I knew much about this woman, I felt compelled to pray for her. I didn't want to seem like a weirdo, so I did it silently as I set up her bedside table. I asked about her life a little bit, and she told me how her husband and herself used to travel as gospel singers. She said she was trained in piano and was about to start learning violin, but that the onset of ALS had kept her from picking it up. She told me, "see, you shouldn't wait to start doing the things you want to do, you never know when it could be too late." I told her that I had always wanted to learn to play the piano and she smiled saying, "well I bet I will be back here in a year, so when I do, I am going to expect that you have started to play." I nodded, half wondering if she really would be back, half wondering if I would ever actually try to fumble my way through a tune. I told her that my grandfather used to play piano, but that he had recently stopped. The woman told me to tell him to keep playing, and reminded me that one could never be too old to learn. I decided to go out on a whim and asked her if I could pray. What could it hurt? She graciously told me yes and opened up her hand for me to grab. After my short words, she thanked me, and quoted Philippians 4:13, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength", emphasizing that He said EVERYTHING. She told me to continue to be strong and courageous in my offering of prayers, and to keep letting God use me like that. She shared that her husband was a docile man, but that he was a prayer warrior, always being asked to pray for people. (I met him later that evening and he was indeed a sweet man, rubbing his wife's sore feet. He had love written in his eyes. He was black and she was white.)
I don't want to wait until death to begin living. Why spend our entire lives working for a goal that may never be reached? Why not live our lives responding as the blessed children we are, open to receive from our Father.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Nurse Sarah
Here is a picture I took of myself yesterday after work. I was going to get one of my roommates to take it but she was asleep. Thank goodness for photo timers. For fun, I have also included a picture my Aunt recently sent of me as a wee tot.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Banana Bag
I feel like I have been hooked up to a BANANA BAG this week. What is a banana bag you ask? It is a bag of IV fluids that contains vitamins and minerals to replenish a deficient body. I know it is only thursday, but I have had such a great day today (and the past few days) that I cannot help but relish.
Monday: I woke up early to drive back to Charlotte for an interview at the YMCA. It went well, and the employer will look for a position for me. She even passed my information on to a bunch of her colleagues to see if they had a spot that was more fitting to my schedule. She then allowed me to take a free spinning class. So much fun! I had two delicious meals, one being Flying Biscuit with a friend, another was homemade indian food from one of my bff's new boy friends. He has made a good impression on me... Or my stomach at least. I hung out with my wonderful roommates Kate and Bekah in our BEAUTIFUL NoDa home. I still cannot believe I live in such a place. It blows my mind. I had the best night of sleep I have had in weeks.
Tuesday: Relaxing morning with fresh French pressed coffee from the comforts of my own home and yogurt with blueberries. Yum. Then a run downtown where a homeless man gave me a medal. I chose to believe that it was a kind act that ministered to my character. A man with nothing saw me and was compelled to scrounge the bottoms of his napsack for a keepsake. That is beautiful! The only hang up of the day was that my key to our building didn't work, which just meant I had to go back to visit Bekah at work to get hers. Then I decorated my room with lattice, a window, and the old desk; I am going for a cottage/vintage feel. Bekah came home early from work and we chatted while multi-tasking. We ate leftover indian cuisine for dinner, waited on Kate, and then faced the storm to go to Church. The message spoke to all of us, and we laughed as things said in the sermon paralleled conversations we previously had with one another. I was convicted about areas of pride in my life and how I view "my calling". It was a good reminder that what I do in the future has little relevance to how I live my life now. Life is not about what I can do, but how I respond. Good stuff!
Wednesday: Woke up early to go for a run with my friend Michelle and then came home to make a journal to give to a Raleigh roommate for her trip to Africa. I had lunch with another friend in which I killed some pride. It was a bit scary, but I figured the cost was worth it. Pride has no place here. And guess what? It wasn't bad at all, it was freedom. I drove back to Raleigh and ran some errands. Sarah and her boy friend had made a delicious blueberry cake that I got to taste, and then I went to bed.
Thursday: The BEST day of all. The banana bag of all banana bags. I started my day with some meditation on the fact that I am not defined by what occupation I have, or what role I play, but that it is how I respond. I was given the opportunity to work in the ICU and absolutely loved it! Perhaps it was my outlook, or maybe it really was a good fit. Who knows. When I arrived I went into the break room and listened to discussion. I was told to follow a nurse named Veronica (she is from Nigeria, very cool!), but when the charge nurse announced this at the meeting, Veronica's bulging eyes indicated that no one had informed her about this pairing. I was a bit concerned that it would not be fun or go well, but I was determined to respond out of joy. I asked V about ICU and if her children were going to be nurses and she told me she told them all never to be. I asked why and she said it was because her job was stressful, and that she wasn't paid nearly enough. She said I should continue my education and not stop at being a nurse... that I should be an CRNA (Nurse Anesthetist), or a Nurse Practitioner, or a doctor, but that I should never be a bedside nurse. She told me she didn't like teaching either. All of that was a little discouraging, but I pressed on. There wasn't too much for me to do because ICU nurses only take care of 1-3 patients at a time, enabling the nurse to provide for most of the needs. I decided I was not going to sit around so I started asking everyone on the unit. Slowly, they all started to give me tasks. At 12 I went with V to a meeting and she became more and more open to me. She pulled a seat next to her and included me in conversation. She was nice from the start, but I began to feel more like a welcomed presence instead of a her seeing me as a pesky student. At 1 I had my evaluation with Yolanda, the 5th floor nurse manager, and was very encouraged by that as well. Just like everyone else I meet, she too gave me career advice, telling me to work at the bedside for a few years before trying to specialize or go back to school, and how to make myself marketable. I listened with a grain of salt, because I know I can't take everyone's advice. My favorite part was when she commended my current status. She said that both of the nurses i work with said I was eager to learn and doing very well. She told me that the patients all loved me and one had even talked to her about me and told her things she already knew (probably about how I was a student, etc). So cute! After the meeting I went back to the ICU with even more fuel. I took an initiative and started performing tasks before I was asked. V warmed up to me even more, and began teaching with greater depth. She told me about the patients conditions and encouraged me to think critically. I really liked the ICU and fit in well there. It was clean, organized, quite, and warm :) As a nurse, you have to constantly be thinking and making decisions. Everything isn't black and white. Towards the end of my shift, V was impressed with my observations and gave me a high five. She told me that usually they don't need Nursing Assistants but that I was a huge asset and she wanted to talk to her nurse manager about getting me on board. She told me I was going to be a great nurse. I always thought I would be bored with how much you sit and watch your people in the ICU, but I found it refreshing. My body wasn't dead tired when I got home from work! Instead, my mind felt like it had been stimulated. I also wasn't exhausted from dealing with people. I got to talk to my patients a little bit, but it wasn't a constant bombardment of emotional support, anger-determent, or mere entertainment. I also go to practice my spanish today with one of the new admissions. I was very surprised by how much I remembered from so long ago. It was so much fun!
Monday: I woke up early to drive back to Charlotte for an interview at the YMCA. It went well, and the employer will look for a position for me. She even passed my information on to a bunch of her colleagues to see if they had a spot that was more fitting to my schedule. She then allowed me to take a free spinning class. So much fun! I had two delicious meals, one being Flying Biscuit with a friend, another was homemade indian food from one of my bff's new boy friends. He has made a good impression on me... Or my stomach at least. I hung out with my wonderful roommates Kate and Bekah in our BEAUTIFUL NoDa home. I still cannot believe I live in such a place. It blows my mind. I had the best night of sleep I have had in weeks.
Tuesday: Relaxing morning with fresh French pressed coffee from the comforts of my own home and yogurt with blueberries. Yum. Then a run downtown where a homeless man gave me a medal. I chose to believe that it was a kind act that ministered to my character. A man with nothing saw me and was compelled to scrounge the bottoms of his napsack for a keepsake. That is beautiful! The only hang up of the day was that my key to our building didn't work, which just meant I had to go back to visit Bekah at work to get hers. Then I decorated my room with lattice, a window, and the old desk; I am going for a cottage/vintage feel. Bekah came home early from work and we chatted while multi-tasking. We ate leftover indian cuisine for dinner, waited on Kate, and then faced the storm to go to Church. The message spoke to all of us, and we laughed as things said in the sermon paralleled conversations we previously had with one another. I was convicted about areas of pride in my life and how I view "my calling". It was a good reminder that what I do in the future has little relevance to how I live my life now. Life is not about what I can do, but how I respond. Good stuff!
Wednesday: Woke up early to go for a run with my friend Michelle and then came home to make a journal to give to a Raleigh roommate for her trip to Africa. I had lunch with another friend in which I killed some pride. It was a bit scary, but I figured the cost was worth it. Pride has no place here. And guess what? It wasn't bad at all, it was freedom. I drove back to Raleigh and ran some errands. Sarah and her boy friend had made a delicious blueberry cake that I got to taste, and then I went to bed.
Thursday: The BEST day of all. The banana bag of all banana bags. I started my day with some meditation on the fact that I am not defined by what occupation I have, or what role I play, but that it is how I respond. I was given the opportunity to work in the ICU and absolutely loved it! Perhaps it was my outlook, or maybe it really was a good fit. Who knows. When I arrived I went into the break room and listened to discussion. I was told to follow a nurse named Veronica (she is from Nigeria, very cool!), but when the charge nurse announced this at the meeting, Veronica's bulging eyes indicated that no one had informed her about this pairing. I was a bit concerned that it would not be fun or go well, but I was determined to respond out of joy. I asked V about ICU and if her children were going to be nurses and she told me she told them all never to be. I asked why and she said it was because her job was stressful, and that she wasn't paid nearly enough. She said I should continue my education and not stop at being a nurse... that I should be an CRNA (Nurse Anesthetist), or a Nurse Practitioner, or a doctor, but that I should never be a bedside nurse. She told me she didn't like teaching either. All of that was a little discouraging, but I pressed on. There wasn't too much for me to do because ICU nurses only take care of 1-3 patients at a time, enabling the nurse to provide for most of the needs. I decided I was not going to sit around so I started asking everyone on the unit. Slowly, they all started to give me tasks. At 12 I went with V to a meeting and she became more and more open to me. She pulled a seat next to her and included me in conversation. She was nice from the start, but I began to feel more like a welcomed presence instead of a her seeing me as a pesky student. At 1 I had my evaluation with Yolanda, the 5th floor nurse manager, and was very encouraged by that as well. Just like everyone else I meet, she too gave me career advice, telling me to work at the bedside for a few years before trying to specialize or go back to school, and how to make myself marketable. I listened with a grain of salt, because I know I can't take everyone's advice. My favorite part was when she commended my current status. She said that both of the nurses i work with said I was eager to learn and doing very well. She told me that the patients all loved me and one had even talked to her about me and told her things she already knew (probably about how I was a student, etc). So cute! After the meeting I went back to the ICU with even more fuel. I took an initiative and started performing tasks before I was asked. V warmed up to me even more, and began teaching with greater depth. She told me about the patients conditions and encouraged me to think critically. I really liked the ICU and fit in well there. It was clean, organized, quite, and warm :) As a nurse, you have to constantly be thinking and making decisions. Everything isn't black and white. Towards the end of my shift, V was impressed with my observations and gave me a high five. She told me that usually they don't need Nursing Assistants but that I was a huge asset and she wanted to talk to her nurse manager about getting me on board. She told me I was going to be a great nurse. I always thought I would be bored with how much you sit and watch your people in the ICU, but I found it refreshing. My body wasn't dead tired when I got home from work! Instead, my mind felt like it had been stimulated. I also wasn't exhausted from dealing with people. I got to talk to my patients a little bit, but it wasn't a constant bombardment of emotional support, anger-determent, or mere entertainment. I also go to practice my spanish today with one of the new admissions. I was very surprised by how much I remembered from so long ago. It was so much fun!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Mike
Note: If you are a person who gets nervous when I talk about living in a city and the "what-if's", please do not read this blog.
I drove to Charlotte yesterday for an interview and am staying for a few days to hang out with my roomies, decorate, etc. This morning I decided I wanted to go on a long run down town, so I looked on MapMyRun.com for routes that other people had taken. I found a 10 mile route, but decided to alter it to make it shorter. The ran began at Freedom Park, so I drove to the spot, parked, put on my watch and Runner ID, and began my ran. As I approached a gas station on East Blvd about 5 minutes in (a nice, safe area of Downtown Charlotte), an old black man on a bicycle stopped near my path. He was trying to get my attention so I stopped. He had a smokey grey beard, baseball cap, and dirty bookbag. He appeared clean. He started saying something about how he was sorry to stop my running, but that he had something he wanted to give me. I was a little cautious, but there were plenty of people nearby, and a cop had actually just pulled up about 10 feet away to fill up his gas tank. The man introduced himself as "Mike", shook my hand, and asked me my name. I told him "Sarah" and he said, "I knew that. I'm psychic. Last girl I met I thought her name was Sarah too, but actually it was her daughters name." He chuckled and told me he had a medal for me. As he began unzipping his bookbag, he pulled out an old grocery bag. I told him I was nervous and he said, "I know I look like a terrorist, but I'm not. I just have something I want to give you. My daughter used to hand these out to people." Sure enough, he pulled out an old Kiawah Island Half Marathon blue medal. He told me how he was an x-military man and that he used to run but now lifted weights (he grabbed and flexed his bicep as he said this. I smiled at him. He told me to go get back to my run and that he hadn't wanted to interrupt me. I told him it was not a bother, and started off again. I dropped the medal off at Dilworth Coffee (Bekah was working). I told her I would explain the story later and continued on my way. I ran the next 7.5 miles downtown filled with thoughts of people, life, love, and God.
I must say, I have the best playlist ever.
I drove to Charlotte yesterday for an interview and am staying for a few days to hang out with my roomies, decorate, etc. This morning I decided I wanted to go on a long run down town, so I looked on MapMyRun.com for routes that other people had taken. I found a 10 mile route, but decided to alter it to make it shorter. The ran began at Freedom Park, so I drove to the spot, parked, put on my watch and Runner ID, and began my ran. As I approached a gas station on East Blvd about 5 minutes in (a nice, safe area of Downtown Charlotte), an old black man on a bicycle stopped near my path. He was trying to get my attention so I stopped. He had a smokey grey beard, baseball cap, and dirty bookbag. He appeared clean. He started saying something about how he was sorry to stop my running, but that he had something he wanted to give me. I was a little cautious, but there were plenty of people nearby, and a cop had actually just pulled up about 10 feet away to fill up his gas tank. The man introduced himself as "Mike", shook my hand, and asked me my name. I told him "Sarah" and he said, "I knew that. I'm psychic. Last girl I met I thought her name was Sarah too, but actually it was her daughters name." He chuckled and told me he had a medal for me. As he began unzipping his bookbag, he pulled out an old grocery bag. I told him I was nervous and he said, "I know I look like a terrorist, but I'm not. I just have something I want to give you. My daughter used to hand these out to people." Sure enough, he pulled out an old Kiawah Island Half Marathon blue medal. He told me how he was an x-military man and that he used to run but now lifted weights (he grabbed and flexed his bicep as he said this. I smiled at him. He told me to go get back to my run and that he hadn't wanted to interrupt me. I told him it was not a bother, and started off again. I dropped the medal off at Dilworth Coffee (Bekah was working). I told her I would explain the story later and continued on my way. I ran the next 7.5 miles downtown filled with thoughts of people, life, love, and God.
I must say, I have the best playlist ever.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wow
This gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. How beautiful is this? A homeless man came up and started singing with this musician. Wow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDmibnRyhj4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDmibnRyhj4&feature=related
Thursday, July 22, 2010
AWKWARD
I had a totally awkward moment today. I will preface this by saying that Duke Raleigh is a SMALL hospital. I have come into contact with almost every employee at least once, so it is weird when I notice someone new. This morning I woke up for work at the usual time but HAD to take a shower. Typically I take them at night, but I sweat profusely during my sleep last night... This also requires some explanation. We have pretty much decided to turn off the air conditioning because our last bill was over $200. Ridiculous! So instead we will sweat. For those who know me: NO. I have not been sleeping in my usual get up of sweat pants and sweat shirt with the hood over my head and 5 billion blankets. I have been instead sporting underwear and a tank top with a sheet. I am about one more night of sweat away from going completely comando. Sorry if that is "TMI". Despite the alteration of my morning routine, I still arrived at work early and was able to spend some quiet time in my car before having to clock-in at 6:45. If you are wondering why I didn't just clock-in early, it is because we are penalized if we work before our shift because we "weren't asked to come in early." As I was sitting in my car, another car speedily pulled in next to me. I made eye contact with the driver, who happened to be a young man dressed in casual clothing. I thought it was odd that 1. I have never seen him before, and 2. that he was dressed this way. The situation quickly turned awkward as I realized that my mental guessing game of who-he-was or what-department-he-was in, was accompanied by me staring. Let me rephrase that, it turned awkward when I realized the staring was mutual and that we had in fact, made eye contact. I hate when that happens and quickly looked away, hoping I would never see him again.
At 10 am I went down to the OR to watch a laproscopic gallstone removal. As I was waiting for the nurse, I saw that man again, this time dressed in scrubs and sipping on coffee in the OR. Greatttttt. I was rescued by the scrub nurse and went into the room to watch the hour long procedure which was actually pretty cool. The doctor made an incision in the woman's belly button, inflated her with gas to have better visibility, inserted three tools into small holes in the upper right abdomen, and used a video camera to navigate. The removal was done while looking at a screen, and the doctor "played around" with the camera and showed me all of the woman's internal organs. Guess what, a liver really looks like liver you would buy at the store. Gross, huh? The doctor was a nice older man with long hair who insisted on teaching me about 70's music during the procedure. It was funny. After he and the surgical tech stitched the woman up, I headed back to my floor to work. When I arrived to the elevator, I found that I was not the only one needing a lift. I was accompanied by an older gentleman with a linen cart, and of course, the young man from earlier, still dressed in his OR gear, and with a lunch box. We all got on in silence. The old man got off first, and then it was just me and the doctor man. I tried to avoid eye contact and kept glancing at the top of the elevator as if that would somehow make it climb the building faster. I have no idea why I was so intimidated/quiet. I am usually a talker and have no problem chatting up people I run into. He broke the silence and said, "I am surprised they let you get away with wearing Carolina Blue at a Duke Hospital." Instead of taking it is a joke I replied, "well actually I have to wear this color. It is called Ceil Blue." He then said something about how yes, the different floors and departments wear different colors to differentiate themselves. As the elevator stopped, I practically ran out and said something to the extent of "Have a good day." I then realized I had turned the wrong way and had gotten off on the wrong floor. Bahahaha. So dumb!!! I don't know why I acted like such a girl or was so awkward about it. I mean, he was just a cute, young, surgeon, right?? Jokes, jokes. But seriously, I do NOT act like that around strangers. I made myself laugh at how embarrassed I was. Anddd if I am being serious, I don't think I would ever be interested in a doctor. It is funny how the science of medicine is so foggy, yet many doctors appear to be black and white. I need more mystery in my life. Who knows though... I may still be a nun and collect babies from the foreign lands I visit :)
In other news, our new friend Ponni made us an amazing indian dinner tonight. Her and her fiance Kevin just moved to Raleigh from California so that Kevin can go to graduate school. They are really sweet and cute. I can't wait to get to know them better!
At 10 am I went down to the OR to watch a laproscopic gallstone removal. As I was waiting for the nurse, I saw that man again, this time dressed in scrubs and sipping on coffee in the OR. Greatttttt. I was rescued by the scrub nurse and went into the room to watch the hour long procedure which was actually pretty cool. The doctor made an incision in the woman's belly button, inflated her with gas to have better visibility, inserted three tools into small holes in the upper right abdomen, and used a video camera to navigate. The removal was done while looking at a screen, and the doctor "played around" with the camera and showed me all of the woman's internal organs. Guess what, a liver really looks like liver you would buy at the store. Gross, huh? The doctor was a nice older man with long hair who insisted on teaching me about 70's music during the procedure. It was funny. After he and the surgical tech stitched the woman up, I headed back to my floor to work. When I arrived to the elevator, I found that I was not the only one needing a lift. I was accompanied by an older gentleman with a linen cart, and of course, the young man from earlier, still dressed in his OR gear, and with a lunch box. We all got on in silence. The old man got off first, and then it was just me and the doctor man. I tried to avoid eye contact and kept glancing at the top of the elevator as if that would somehow make it climb the building faster. I have no idea why I was so intimidated/quiet. I am usually a talker and have no problem chatting up people I run into. He broke the silence and said, "I am surprised they let you get away with wearing Carolina Blue at a Duke Hospital." Instead of taking it is a joke I replied, "well actually I have to wear this color. It is called Ceil Blue." He then said something about how yes, the different floors and departments wear different colors to differentiate themselves. As the elevator stopped, I practically ran out and said something to the extent of "Have a good day." I then realized I had turned the wrong way and had gotten off on the wrong floor. Bahahaha. So dumb!!! I don't know why I acted like such a girl or was so awkward about it. I mean, he was just a cute, young, surgeon, right?? Jokes, jokes. But seriously, I do NOT act like that around strangers. I made myself laugh at how embarrassed I was. Anddd if I am being serious, I don't think I would ever be interested in a doctor. It is funny how the science of medicine is so foggy, yet many doctors appear to be black and white. I need more mystery in my life. Who knows though... I may still be a nun and collect babies from the foreign lands I visit :)
In other news, our new friend Ponni made us an amazing indian dinner tonight. Her and her fiance Kevin just moved to Raleigh from California so that Kevin can go to graduate school. They are really sweet and cute. I can't wait to get to know them better!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Dinner Experiment
Tonight I made dinner for Sarah and Sanj. I needed to use up some cucumbers, zucchini, tomato, bell pepper, mushrooms, and bread. I call it Experimental Cooking #2.
Here is what I made:
-Cucumber salad:
3 cups cucumbers, 1/2 onion, 1 Tablespoon of sugar, 1/2 teaspoon sea salt, 2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, 1 sliced tomato. Mixed & refrigerated
-Veggie Melts:
Three slices of bread, 1 zucchini-thinly sliced, 1/2 onion chopped, 1 cup mushrooms chopped, 1/2 bell pepper sliced (I used an orange one), 4 minced garlic cloves, 3 slices cheese (I used american), salt & pepper to taste, 1 tablespoon vegetable oil, water.
With the skillet on medium heat, saute the onion, mushrooms, garlic, and bell pepper in 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil. After a few minutes add a little bit of water to the skillet. After the veggies are mostly cooked, add the zucchini to the mixture. Add salt & pepper to taste. Toast the bread. Put veggies and 1 slice of cheese on top of each slice of bread. If the cheese needs help melting, put it in the microwave for a fifteen seconds.
This meal was actually VERY flavorful. The girls really liked it and I was totally proud of myself! SUCCESS!!!
Here is what I made:
-Cucumber salad:
3 cups cucumbers, 1/2 onion, 1 Tablespoon of sugar, 1/2 teaspoon sea salt, 2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, 1 sliced tomato. Mixed & refrigerated
-Veggie Melts:
Three slices of bread, 1 zucchini-thinly sliced, 1/2 onion chopped, 1 cup mushrooms chopped, 1/2 bell pepper sliced (I used an orange one), 4 minced garlic cloves, 3 slices cheese (I used american), salt & pepper to taste, 1 tablespoon vegetable oil, water.
With the skillet on medium heat, saute the onion, mushrooms, garlic, and bell pepper in 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil. After a few minutes add a little bit of water to the skillet. After the veggies are mostly cooked, add the zucchini to the mixture. Add salt & pepper to taste. Toast the bread. Put veggies and 1 slice of cheese on top of each slice of bread. If the cheese needs help melting, put it in the microwave for a fifteen seconds.
This meal was actually VERY flavorful. The girls really liked it and I was totally proud of myself! SUCCESS!!!
G-ma & G-Pa
I took a trip to Potomac this past weekend. It was great to spend some time with the fam. Check out this awesome itinerary:
Saturday:
6am: leave Raleigh with my mom.
6am-12pm: Drive, crochet, wonderful chats, eat, drink, pee.
12pm-3pm: Shop at a huge, overwhelming mall. Learned that I prefer Goodwill's size, limited selection, and price tags much more. Plus I think thrift shopping makes you experiment more with your style. Too many choices may not always be a good thing.
3pm-5pm: Traffic, showers, hotel check-in, get ready for dinner
5pm: Old-folks-style-early-bird dinner. Pretty good Salmon with a side of green beans. Dessert of cherry with chocolate chip oatmeal crisp.
8pm: attempt to do some homework on my computer only to discover that my cd-rom doesn't work on my Mac. Bummer!
Sunday:
6:30am-8:30: C&O canal 6 mile run with my Uncle and 14-year-old cousin. Talked about prayer, God, life, running, and food.
9am: Breakfast at the hotel with the fam. 1 Uncle + 2 aunts + 2 grandparents + 2 cousins + my mom
12pm-3pm: visit the Navy Exchange. A small Sears that was tax free. I accidently tried on bras in the men's dressing room... and then left my sweater in there. After we left the Navy store I realized I had forgotten it (my mom kept calling and pressuring me to hurry up. Doesn't she know you can't rush bra shopping?!), so she and my G-pa went back to collect my lost clothing while G-ma, Aunt Jennifer, and I shopped at a fancy grocery store. I got a yummy salad and all kinds of samples. Oh the Navy Exchange also had See's chocolate, the best chocolate ever.
4pm-5pm: first nap in a while. I could get used to this! Fell asleep to the twins (my mom and aunt) chatting on the bed next to me. Kinda cute.
6pm: dinner with the while fam mentioned above with the addition of one more uncle. We ate at http://www.mykonosgrill.com/ This was seriously the BEST meal I have ever had. No joke. I ate so much. The dessert was amazing as well. I now want to go to Greece. Also, our hostess had an amazing blue nail polish on; I am putting it on my shopping list!
8pm: Went for an adventure by myself after dinner. I needed to walk... so full! I felt like my pops taking a stroll like this. Chatted with a friend from home.
Monday:
7am: "slept in", coffee and yogurt in the lobby, journal and Bible in hand. Great start to my day!
9am: round 2 of breakfast with the grandparents. Don't you love how older people find so much joy out of feeding you?? Haha.
10am: walk around my grandparents property. I love their little white fence, brick house with vines, and red barn. I hope that these buildings are preserved in time. Chat with my cuz.
11am-5:30pm: drive back. More good chats with my momma. Phone call with Miss Loffer=goodness. Lots of thoughts of future adventures swirling through my head...
6:15pm: Nog Jog with Marc. Good chats, too much heat, stomach cramps. I enjoy my new friendship with this running partner. He offers a lot of life perspective but not in a "I am so much older than you" way. I feel like he is an open older brother-ish.
8pm+: hang out with roomies, unexpected visitors, NC State ice cream eating, goodness. I really missed the girls while I was away. I can't believe there are only 4 weeks left of my internship. Weirddddd.
Saturday:
6am: leave Raleigh with my mom.
6am-12pm: Drive, crochet, wonderful chats, eat, drink, pee.
12pm-3pm: Shop at a huge, overwhelming mall. Learned that I prefer Goodwill's size, limited selection, and price tags much more. Plus I think thrift shopping makes you experiment more with your style. Too many choices may not always be a good thing.
3pm-5pm: Traffic, showers, hotel check-in, get ready for dinner
5pm: Old-folks-style-early-bird dinner. Pretty good Salmon with a side of green beans. Dessert of cherry with chocolate chip oatmeal crisp.
8pm: attempt to do some homework on my computer only to discover that my cd-rom doesn't work on my Mac. Bummer!
Sunday:
6:30am-8:30: C&O canal 6 mile run with my Uncle and 14-year-old cousin. Talked about prayer, God, life, running, and food.
9am: Breakfast at the hotel with the fam. 1 Uncle + 2 aunts + 2 grandparents + 2 cousins + my mom
12pm-3pm: visit the Navy Exchange. A small Sears that was tax free. I accidently tried on bras in the men's dressing room... and then left my sweater in there. After we left the Navy store I realized I had forgotten it (my mom kept calling and pressuring me to hurry up. Doesn't she know you can't rush bra shopping?!), so she and my G-pa went back to collect my lost clothing while G-ma, Aunt Jennifer, and I shopped at a fancy grocery store. I got a yummy salad and all kinds of samples. Oh the Navy Exchange also had See's chocolate, the best chocolate ever.
4pm-5pm: first nap in a while. I could get used to this! Fell asleep to the twins (my mom and aunt) chatting on the bed next to me. Kinda cute.
6pm: dinner with the while fam mentioned above with the addition of one more uncle. We ate at http://www.mykonosgrill.com/ This was seriously the BEST meal I have ever had. No joke. I ate so much. The dessert was amazing as well. I now want to go to Greece. Also, our hostess had an amazing blue nail polish on; I am putting it on my shopping list!
8pm: Went for an adventure by myself after dinner. I needed to walk... so full! I felt like my pops taking a stroll like this. Chatted with a friend from home.
Monday:
7am: "slept in", coffee and yogurt in the lobby, journal and Bible in hand. Great start to my day!
9am: round 2 of breakfast with the grandparents. Don't you love how older people find so much joy out of feeding you?? Haha.
10am: walk around my grandparents property. I love their little white fence, brick house with vines, and red barn. I hope that these buildings are preserved in time. Chat with my cuz.
11am-5:30pm: drive back. More good chats with my momma. Phone call with Miss Loffer=goodness. Lots of thoughts of future adventures swirling through my head...
6:15pm: Nog Jog with Marc. Good chats, too much heat, stomach cramps. I enjoy my new friendship with this running partner. He offers a lot of life perspective but not in a "I am so much older than you" way. I feel like he is an open older brother-ish.
8pm+: hang out with roomies, unexpected visitors, NC State ice cream eating, goodness. I really missed the girls while I was away. I can't believe there are only 4 weeks left of my internship. Weirddddd.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thunder
Pitter patter BOOM. I absolutely love sitting out on this porch... especially during thunder storms.
Let me rephrase that... I absolutely love sitting out on the porch during thunderstorms when my computer is NOT being threatened by torrential downpours. I just had to run inside to protect this bad boy. Anywho, I would love to go to sleep right now but I must wait for my mom to get here. She is on her way up from Charlotte so that we can head to my grandparents house tomorrow am. YAY! The rest of the gals are off at a concert in Durham I think.
Here are some things that people have said to me throughout the week that have impacted me and/or made me laugh...
1. "You looked scared when you first came in here."
2. "You have holy hands."
3. "Find yourself a good country boy, honey."
4. "I think you pretend to be a naive southern belle. Now, you have showed a little more of yourself to me and we have moved on to another level of communication that you will may not reach with everyone. Don't ever open up everything to anyone, you must save some for yourself."
5. "Continue to do crafts, you need that creative outlet."
6. "Travel nurses ARE allowed to have pets."
7. "My daughter loves the operating room, but she knows she could not adapt the mindset that it takes to get through med school. That is why she chose another field of medicine"
8. "You must drive a nice car, right? What kinda car you have? You married? Got kin? I bet your momma is a great cook then."
9. "You are going to have a good life, Sarah."
Let me rephrase that... I absolutely love sitting out on the porch during thunderstorms when my computer is NOT being threatened by torrential downpours. I just had to run inside to protect this bad boy. Anywho, I would love to go to sleep right now but I must wait for my mom to get here. She is on her way up from Charlotte so that we can head to my grandparents house tomorrow am. YAY! The rest of the gals are off at a concert in Durham I think.
Here are some things that people have said to me throughout the week that have impacted me and/or made me laugh...
1. "You looked scared when you first came in here."
2. "You have holy hands."
3. "Find yourself a good country boy, honey."
4. "I think you pretend to be a naive southern belle. Now, you have showed a little more of yourself to me and we have moved on to another level of communication that you will may not reach with everyone. Don't ever open up everything to anyone, you must save some for yourself."
5. "Continue to do crafts, you need that creative outlet."
6. "Travel nurses ARE allowed to have pets."
7. "My daughter loves the operating room, but she knows she could not adapt the mindset that it takes to get through med school. That is why she chose another field of medicine"
8. "You must drive a nice car, right? What kinda car you have? You married? Got kin? I bet your momma is a great cook then."
9. "You are going to have a good life, Sarah."
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tears
I cried today for the first time in almost a year. For those of you who are close to me, you know that I have difficulty crying. It is not that I don't feel emotion, I do. I just have a difficult time embracing the vulnerability of a good cry. The ugly face, the audible sighs, the release of an uncontrolled spell. I want to cry. I even try to cry sometimes because I know it will make me feel better, but that NEVER works.
I cried today because of a patient. She didn't die, nor is she well, but I suppose I have grown rather fond of her in my heart.
I first met L* my second day on the unit. She was the patient that had part of her colon removed, a seemingly simple procedure, but the doctor messed up and punctured a portion of the intestine higher than he was supposed to. This resulted in complications and simultaneously, more surgeries. A three day in-and-out turned into a 30 day journey. She wasn't even allowed to drink water or suck on ice for the longest time.
The first time I cared for her, I had heard from the other nurses that she was a "diva." She had tattooed eyebrows and eyelashes, fake breast, manicured nails, perfect bob haircut, and was 63 years old. All of this aside, she was quite helpless looking with three tubes draining from her abdomen, a tube down her nose, a foley catheter for urine, and a newly placed colostomy bag (this is basically a poop bag outside of your body). She was very weak and dependent, but still sweet with a strong presence. As I spent time with her, I got to know her hobbies, occupation, likes, and dislikes. I learned how she loved the beach, gardening, a quiet home, and spending time with her children and grandchildren. She was once a high school teacher, then a principal, and now a college professor in education. She was divorced too. I don't know why, but we took to one another. She would ask me about my weekends, my decorating plans for my apartment, life dreams, or what I had for dinner. I enjoyed our time and I looked forward to helping her.
Today I found out that her family had decided to transfer her to another hospital. They have not been happy with their doctor group (I can't say I don't blame them, he did after all mess up), and wanted to move her to a hospital where they felt she would have a better medical advocate. L promised that the nursing care here was "superior" and told her family members and frieds that I was her favorite or that she had "just been talking about me." I often felt like she was speaking of me as a proud mother would talk about her daughter, sharing about my character and accomplishments. As I provided care for her the last time today, she told me that I was very special and blessed me. Right before she left, I walked over to her bed and told her I would miss seeing her. With that, she tenderly grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes, thanked, and wished me luck in life. I started to tear up in her room, but tried to smile. I quickly spun towards the door because I didn't want her family (including her x-hubby) to see me and forced a smile. I think I may have even tried to laugh. I took deep breaths and went to a bathroom in an empty room to let myself cry a little. A few big heaves with drops that filled the creases of my eyes, and I had collected myself again.
I am not sure why I was affected by this woman so much. Perhaps it was because I saw a glimpse of myself in her... independent and driven with perfectionist tendencies. Yet at the same time her heart was gentle, and she was scared. Today as I asked her what she was thinking, she said she couldn't believe this happened to so few people and yet it had happened to her. For the very first time I could see how afraid and vulnerable she felt.
L told me I "would receive for what I gave," little does she know how much she opened my heart. I weep the tears that she cannot cry, and that is the most beautiful gift of all.
I cried today because of a patient. She didn't die, nor is she well, but I suppose I have grown rather fond of her in my heart.
I first met L* my second day on the unit. She was the patient that had part of her colon removed, a seemingly simple procedure, but the doctor messed up and punctured a portion of the intestine higher than he was supposed to. This resulted in complications and simultaneously, more surgeries. A three day in-and-out turned into a 30 day journey. She wasn't even allowed to drink water or suck on ice for the longest time.
The first time I cared for her, I had heard from the other nurses that she was a "diva." She had tattooed eyebrows and eyelashes, fake breast, manicured nails, perfect bob haircut, and was 63 years old. All of this aside, she was quite helpless looking with three tubes draining from her abdomen, a tube down her nose, a foley catheter for urine, and a newly placed colostomy bag (this is basically a poop bag outside of your body). She was very weak and dependent, but still sweet with a strong presence. As I spent time with her, I got to know her hobbies, occupation, likes, and dislikes. I learned how she loved the beach, gardening, a quiet home, and spending time with her children and grandchildren. She was once a high school teacher, then a principal, and now a college professor in education. She was divorced too. I don't know why, but we took to one another. She would ask me about my weekends, my decorating plans for my apartment, life dreams, or what I had for dinner. I enjoyed our time and I looked forward to helping her.
Today I found out that her family had decided to transfer her to another hospital. They have not been happy with their doctor group (I can't say I don't blame them, he did after all mess up), and wanted to move her to a hospital where they felt she would have a better medical advocate. L promised that the nursing care here was "superior" and told her family members and frieds that I was her favorite or that she had "just been talking about me." I often felt like she was speaking of me as a proud mother would talk about her daughter, sharing about my character and accomplishments. As I provided care for her the last time today, she told me that I was very special and blessed me. Right before she left, I walked over to her bed and told her I would miss seeing her. With that, she tenderly grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes, thanked, and wished me luck in life. I started to tear up in her room, but tried to smile. I quickly spun towards the door because I didn't want her family (including her x-hubby) to see me and forced a smile. I think I may have even tried to laugh. I took deep breaths and went to a bathroom in an empty room to let myself cry a little. A few big heaves with drops that filled the creases of my eyes, and I had collected myself again.
I am not sure why I was affected by this woman so much. Perhaps it was because I saw a glimpse of myself in her... independent and driven with perfectionist tendencies. Yet at the same time her heart was gentle, and she was scared. Today as I asked her what she was thinking, she said she couldn't believe this happened to so few people and yet it had happened to her. For the very first time I could see how afraid and vulnerable she felt.
L told me I "would receive for what I gave," little does she know how much she opened my heart. I weep the tears that she cannot cry, and that is the most beautiful gift of all.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Advice
A friend of mine brought it to my attention the other day that everyone seems to have advice for me. Go do this, go do that. On one hand I would love to have clear direction and know the outcome, but I realize that would take some of the joy away from my adventure. As much as I think I want their words and "fortune telling", as soon as I receive them I want to squeeze them out like venom to my flesh. I want to experience life on my own. I want to be open to different opportunities and follow where the compass in my heart leads.
My dad called the other night and said such encouraging words to me... I don't think he even knew how timely they were. He told me that no matter what, things would work out and not to worry. He reminded me of how things may be unconventional, but that it can work... and it will work. Trust and faith. The older I have gotten, the more I have grown to love that my father is a horse trainer. It is not a glorious job, nor is it financially "sound" or stable. I love that when my parents met, my mom encouraged him in that desire to be a horse trainer. I love that it is unconventional, but that it works. I have always had everything I ever needed, and for the most part, wanted. And best of all, I love that my dad has always gone to work smiling.
Here is a quote from "Brave New World" that I have always loved:
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
My dad called the other night and said such encouraging words to me... I don't think he even knew how timely they were. He told me that no matter what, things would work out and not to worry. He reminded me of how things may be unconventional, but that it can work... and it will work. Trust and faith. The older I have gotten, the more I have grown to love that my father is a horse trainer. It is not a glorious job, nor is it financially "sound" or stable. I love that when my parents met, my mom encouraged him in that desire to be a horse trainer. I love that it is unconventional, but that it works. I have always had everything I ever needed, and for the most part, wanted. And best of all, I love that my dad has always gone to work smiling.
Here is a quote from "Brave New World" that I have always loved:
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Tailer Trash
Today I picked up a desk that I found on Craigslist.com in Durham. I got my roommate Caitlin to come with me to look at it, and when she typed in the address she found that the man, A, lived in a trailer park. I may have been more concerned about going to a trailer park to look at furniture, but because I had Caitlin with me I was not worried. As a precaution, we told all of our friends where we were going and took the trip at 10 am. First we dropped Caitlin's car off at a dealership to get fixed, and then we trekked up 70 West. We had trouble finding the place, so I called A for directions. His son answered, and told us to turn around. After we drove almost completely back to Raleigh, we called again, this time talking to A, and were told to turn around again and got proper directions. The home was 20 minutes in the opposite direction. I was really glad to have Caitlin with me, otherwise I am sure the miscommunication about location would have been trying. As we pulled into the trailer park, both Caitlin and I expressed our sense of ease for there were many toddler toys in people's yards. A's house was pepto-bismal pink, with cotton candy blue shutters and trim. NO JOKE. There was junk all over the yard too.. furniture, baby toys, vases, you name it. We knocked on the door and waited. A actually lived across the dirt road, but was helping his x-wife sell furniture and move out. As soon as he showed me the desk I knew it would be the perfect addition to my room. (I have attached a picture). There was a ton of other vintage furniture in the home and I had to force myself from trying to buy more of it. I don't think he knew what treasures he had. Oh, and he also had a tanning bed. Kind of a weird thing for a 40 year old African American man to have huh? As we loaded up the desk, he told me he had about 30 responses for this piece, but that I was the first one he called and so I had gotten it. He told me, "you were meant to have it." How cute. I encouraged him to list his other pieces as antique or vintage because he would probably get more inquiries. He appreciated my help. The best part of this story is... I only paid $35 for the desk! AND, he threw in a little metal stool. It came with a cushion, but I left it because it was dirty. A also told us that his son is a computer science major at UNCC, and that I should look for him. The chances of me meeting his son while at school are quite slim, but I told him I would.
It was a successful day! It just goes to show that one man's [trailer] trash, is another [wo]man's treasure.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Lancaster
Last night, a Raleigh friend came over to the house with her mother to visit. I began talking to her mom and found out that she is a nurse in an ER just past Lancaster, SC, in a town that has "springs" in it. She encouraged me to work in a rural hospital because of the amount of experience I would get. She said that because they are further away from a main hospital such as CMC downtown, that they see a lot of stuff in the ER that you wouldn't normally see. Burn victims, drug abuse, gun wounds, you name it! Apparently nurses get a lot more autonomy too. Her mother also told me that it is better to start somewhere like ER because then you can transfer where ever you want. A lot of times if you start out (and stay) in somewhere like Med Serg, you get "pegged" as a Med Serg nurse and have to stay there. I don't think I would mind working in SC to start off... Especially if I was close to the barn and could go ride!
I really have no idea what kind of nursing I will go into when I graduate. There are so many options! Stay in Charlotte, go to Raleigh, go overseas, travel nursing, camp nurse, graduate school, you name it! Every time I try to figure stuff out I feel like I am not supposed to worry about it right now. My other friend, Lauren, recently gave me a GRE study book because I had mentioned maybe wanting to go to grad school. When I got it, I felt like a kid who had burnt her tongue on cookies that weren't yet finished. The end will be perfectly sweet if I just wait on it.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
I just made a s'more in the microwave. Delicious!
In other news... I am almost completely moved into the NoDa condo. I LOVE IT!!! I can't wait to post pictures when my room is finished. It is going to be magazine worthy :)
I really have no idea what kind of nursing I will go into when I graduate. There are so many options! Stay in Charlotte, go to Raleigh, go overseas, travel nursing, camp nurse, graduate school, you name it! Every time I try to figure stuff out I feel like I am not supposed to worry about it right now. My other friend, Lauren, recently gave me a GRE study book because I had mentioned maybe wanting to go to grad school. When I got it, I felt like a kid who had burnt her tongue on cookies that weren't yet finished. The end will be perfectly sweet if I just wait on it.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
I just made a s'more in the microwave. Delicious!
In other news... I am almost completely moved into the NoDa condo. I LOVE IT!!! I can't wait to post pictures when my room is finished. It is going to be magazine worthy :)
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Missionaries
I am not sure I will do this story justice... but I figured I would try. Enjoy :)
Last Monday, the most amazing thing happened at work. I got my assignment, and made my morning rounds to get vital signs. One of the last patients I visited was a 40/50-something year old man appeared to have mental and physical handicaps. I figured he must have been born that way and was surprised to hear that he had a wife and children. I thought, "hmm... Maybe his wife is handicap too?" The reason I thought there was something "off" was because when I would talk to him, his mouth would remain slightly open and his eyes were glazed and unfocused as if he were looking straight through me. His body twitched and jerked and he kept grabbing at his leg saying that it hurt. I wasn't sure what to do, and continued to take his vital signs while holding my breath at his smell. I knew that he wanted or needed something, but he couldn't express to me what it was. I didn't know what to do and secretly wished that his wife would hurry up and come to the hospital so that she would take care of him. Horrible, I know. I talked to the other nursing assistant that had him as a patient a few days prior and she shared that he had Hunington's Disease, and was currently hospitalized because of a back injury. Him and his family were on vacation from Illinois and he had fallen in the middle of the night while using the restroom. When he fell, he broke the toilet, and a shattered piece went into his back, piercing straight to the bone. Apparently there was water and blood everywhere, and it was an awful sight. She told me that his wife was really sweet, and that she had told her that when her husband, P*, was in pain, that he would have more tremors. I shared this with my nurse, and she gave him some pain medicine to alleviate his symptoms.
His wife arrived shortly after breakfast, and was very bubbly. She had short brown hair, hiking pants, and a little purse back-pack. I thought she looked like she should be either at Disney World or on a safari in Africa. We talked, and I asked her (hoping) if she wanted to bathe her husband. She said she had never done a bed bath, so she wanted to watch me to learn. It ended up being the best experience ever... As I bathed P, I asked A* about Hunington's Disease and their vacation to Raleigh. She shared that the disease was progressive, and that when she married P, they had no idea that he had it. In his 30's he started to exhibit signs such as a leg twitch, and later tested positive for the gene. Slowly the disease has killed his brain cells, resulting in physical and cognitive handicaps. In fact, they were in Raleigh for a Hunington's Disease conference. She told me about all the research scientists have been doing and how much progress they have made. She did say, however, that there probably would not be a significant cure or palliative device until it was too late for P. I asked about their occupations, and A told me that they were actually missionaries in Africa when P was diagnosed with Hunington's Disease. I could not believe my ears... I had JUST been convicted a few days prior that no matter what I did or how much I "loved God", I was not entitled to perfect health. Specifically, I was challenged by the thought of becoming ill while doing something extremely philanthropic such as serving as a nurse in Africa. Chills ran across my skin as she began to tell me about the journey Hunington's Disease has sent her and her husband on... She told me how P was a Pastor, speaking 3 different languages, and lived amongst the native people. When they learned that P had HD, people told them that he would be healed because they were missionaries and were "serving God". She said she knew that God could heal P if He wanted, but that this was His will for them. She said that she had learned a lot about faith and trusting God's purpose. How this was God's will for now, even though it did not look like what she thought it should. P is a greeter at their Church in Illinois, and that countless individuals have shared with her how much of an encouragement he has been to them. He is at church every Sunday and remembers everyones names. I told A that I was amazed by her and the fact that she is faithful to him, and to God. It would have been so easy to run away from this man, for it was clear that this failing body and mind was not the individual that she married. She then told me about their children... They have two daughters -- both whom have tested positive for the HD gene :( -- and an adopted son from Africa. The son was born on the road while his mother and sisters were escaping Rowanda. When the family arrived to their refuge destination, his mother and sisters got very ill and died. A and P had been praying about adopting a child, and then this little baby boy came to them as an orphan. They said there was a lot of heartache involved in adoption, because anyone could have come and claimed him (even child soldier people that did not know him) and they would have had to oblige due to lack of rights as non-citizens. She showed me pictures of her son and told me how he is in school in Il, has straight A's, is on sports teams, and is a great kid. She was so proud!
Before I left the family for the day, I knew I needed to pray with them. I asked if I could (apparently as a nurse we are allowed to provide spiritual support so this was totally in my scope of practice!), and she joyfully said "that would be wonderful." I placed my hand on P's, and A put her arm around him. I don't remember half of what I said, but I know I thanked them for the encouragement that they were to me and for peace and healing of body and soul. When I was finished, A was crying and P had a peaceful look upon his face and said his only clear words of the day: "thank you." A walked over, hugged me, and said that this was an answered prayer. She said that she was encouraged to see someone my age convicted by the fact that my health may flee, but that only one thing remains constant. I can try to figure out how I was an answered prayer, or try to remember what I said, or analyze how crazy the whole situation was... but I know that it doesn't matter. All that matters is that in that moment, something greater happened to all of us.
Last Monday, the most amazing thing happened at work. I got my assignment, and made my morning rounds to get vital signs. One of the last patients I visited was a 40/50-something year old man appeared to have mental and physical handicaps. I figured he must have been born that way and was surprised to hear that he had a wife and children. I thought, "hmm... Maybe his wife is handicap too?" The reason I thought there was something "off" was because when I would talk to him, his mouth would remain slightly open and his eyes were glazed and unfocused as if he were looking straight through me. His body twitched and jerked and he kept grabbing at his leg saying that it hurt. I wasn't sure what to do, and continued to take his vital signs while holding my breath at his smell. I knew that he wanted or needed something, but he couldn't express to me what it was. I didn't know what to do and secretly wished that his wife would hurry up and come to the hospital so that she would take care of him. Horrible, I know. I talked to the other nursing assistant that had him as a patient a few days prior and she shared that he had Hunington's Disease, and was currently hospitalized because of a back injury. Him and his family were on vacation from Illinois and he had fallen in the middle of the night while using the restroom. When he fell, he broke the toilet, and a shattered piece went into his back, piercing straight to the bone. Apparently there was water and blood everywhere, and it was an awful sight. She told me that his wife was really sweet, and that she had told her that when her husband, P*, was in pain, that he would have more tremors. I shared this with my nurse, and she gave him some pain medicine to alleviate his symptoms.
His wife arrived shortly after breakfast, and was very bubbly. She had short brown hair, hiking pants, and a little purse back-pack. I thought she looked like she should be either at Disney World or on a safari in Africa. We talked, and I asked her (hoping) if she wanted to bathe her husband. She said she had never done a bed bath, so she wanted to watch me to learn. It ended up being the best experience ever... As I bathed P, I asked A* about Hunington's Disease and their vacation to Raleigh. She shared that the disease was progressive, and that when she married P, they had no idea that he had it. In his 30's he started to exhibit signs such as a leg twitch, and later tested positive for the gene. Slowly the disease has killed his brain cells, resulting in physical and cognitive handicaps. In fact, they were in Raleigh for a Hunington's Disease conference. She told me about all the research scientists have been doing and how much progress they have made. She did say, however, that there probably would not be a significant cure or palliative device until it was too late for P. I asked about their occupations, and A told me that they were actually missionaries in Africa when P was diagnosed with Hunington's Disease. I could not believe my ears... I had JUST been convicted a few days prior that no matter what I did or how much I "loved God", I was not entitled to perfect health. Specifically, I was challenged by the thought of becoming ill while doing something extremely philanthropic such as serving as a nurse in Africa. Chills ran across my skin as she began to tell me about the journey Hunington's Disease has sent her and her husband on... She told me how P was a Pastor, speaking 3 different languages, and lived amongst the native people. When they learned that P had HD, people told them that he would be healed because they were missionaries and were "serving God". She said she knew that God could heal P if He wanted, but that this was His will for them. She said that she had learned a lot about faith and trusting God's purpose. How this was God's will for now, even though it did not look like what she thought it should. P is a greeter at their Church in Illinois, and that countless individuals have shared with her how much of an encouragement he has been to them. He is at church every Sunday and remembers everyones names. I told A that I was amazed by her and the fact that she is faithful to him, and to God. It would have been so easy to run away from this man, for it was clear that this failing body and mind was not the individual that she married. She then told me about their children... They have two daughters -- both whom have tested positive for the HD gene :( -- and an adopted son from Africa. The son was born on the road while his mother and sisters were escaping Rowanda. When the family arrived to their refuge destination, his mother and sisters got very ill and died. A and P had been praying about adopting a child, and then this little baby boy came to them as an orphan. They said there was a lot of heartache involved in adoption, because anyone could have come and claimed him (even child soldier people that did not know him) and they would have had to oblige due to lack of rights as non-citizens. She showed me pictures of her son and told me how he is in school in Il, has straight A's, is on sports teams, and is a great kid. She was so proud!
Before I left the family for the day, I knew I needed to pray with them. I asked if I could (apparently as a nurse we are allowed to provide spiritual support so this was totally in my scope of practice!), and she joyfully said "that would be wonderful." I placed my hand on P's, and A put her arm around him. I don't remember half of what I said, but I know I thanked them for the encouragement that they were to me and for peace and healing of body and soul. When I was finished, A was crying and P had a peaceful look upon his face and said his only clear words of the day: "thank you." A walked over, hugged me, and said that this was an answered prayer. She said that she was encouraged to see someone my age convicted by the fact that my health may flee, but that only one thing remains constant. I can try to figure out how I was an answered prayer, or try to remember what I said, or analyze how crazy the whole situation was... but I know that it doesn't matter. All that matters is that in that moment, something greater happened to all of us.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Sorry for the delay...
Hello blog readers!
Sorry for the delay in entries, I have been a busy gal. I worked Sun, Mon, Wed, Thurs, each 12-hour shifts. Yikes! The shifts go by quickly, but it messes up my "routine." I like to have time every day to spend with others, and then alone, but I am unable to do that when I only have 3 hours before bedtime every night and need to clean dishes and perform other various household tasks.
I enjoy talking to my patients and have found that they give me a lot of positive feedback. There is one patient, the same fellow who likes the IV's in his veins, that told me yesterday that he really appreciated me, that I "carried myself well", that he could tell I was a good person, and has told his son about me because I was pretty. Haha. Later he told me, "If you ever want to take a break and talk to me for five minutes, just come on in. I love talkin' to ya." Then another time he told me he was going to "add me into his will" and "dance at my wedding." Maybe that is weird or bad, but he never makes me feel uncomfortable so I don't mind. Another woman who is always really quiet and seems upset said something really kind to me today. I needed to take her blood pressure and asked her how she was feeling. She said she was having trouble sleeping because people kept waking her up so I apologized . After a moment, in her same pained voice, "I am not bothered by you, you always make me smile."
As far as my nursing skills go, I am becoming much more confident in what I do. Lately my nurses will just tell me to do some of their tasks and I will go and do them by myself. It is great! Today I hung IV's and took care of a lot of patients on my own. I realized too today while I was holding my breath and dumping out a urinal that I will be prepared for motherhood if I ever have children! Haha!
I have a really amazing story to share, but I want to have time to sit down and really write it out. It deserves that much effort. Until then, this will have to suffice. Thanks for listening!
Sorry for the delay in entries, I have been a busy gal. I worked Sun, Mon, Wed, Thurs, each 12-hour shifts. Yikes! The shifts go by quickly, but it messes up my "routine." I like to have time every day to spend with others, and then alone, but I am unable to do that when I only have 3 hours before bedtime every night and need to clean dishes and perform other various household tasks.
I enjoy talking to my patients and have found that they give me a lot of positive feedback. There is one patient, the same fellow who likes the IV's in his veins, that told me yesterday that he really appreciated me, that I "carried myself well", that he could tell I was a good person, and has told his son about me because I was pretty. Haha. Later he told me, "If you ever want to take a break and talk to me for five minutes, just come on in. I love talkin' to ya." Then another time he told me he was going to "add me into his will" and "dance at my wedding." Maybe that is weird or bad, but he never makes me feel uncomfortable so I don't mind. Another woman who is always really quiet and seems upset said something really kind to me today. I needed to take her blood pressure and asked her how she was feeling. She said she was having trouble sleeping because people kept waking her up so I apologized . After a moment, in her same pained voice, "I am not bothered by you, you always make me smile."
As far as my nursing skills go, I am becoming much more confident in what I do. Lately my nurses will just tell me to do some of their tasks and I will go and do them by myself. It is great! Today I hung IV's and took care of a lot of patients on my own. I realized too today while I was holding my breath and dumping out a urinal that I will be prepared for motherhood if I ever have children! Haha!
I have a really amazing story to share, but I want to have time to sit down and really write it out. It deserves that much effort. Until then, this will have to suffice. Thanks for listening!
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