Nursing is gross

As I write this post I am exhausted and sitting on the couch in a silent home (Kayla is at camp, Caitlin is at the beach, and Sarah is in Charlotte visiting her older brother). I am enjoying a bowl of frozen yogurt with blueberries except for the fact that I keep finding ants on my arm. I wish I was joking about that the ants, but I am totally not. We have an ant problem in the Ashburton kitchen and silly me left my computer on the counter. Who would have thought the ants would have climbed on my MacBook and then traveled with me to the living room. I guess they were confused about what kind of apple it was. Har har.

Today I worked my first 12 hour shift, solo. I felt bad for my nurse preceptor because I wasn't really sure what my role was and there was a slight learning curve. The one day during orientation that a nurse aid was supposed to "show me the ropes", she ended up just telling me about her boy friend and kid, then I ended up doing odd jobs for the nurses. Today I was basically thrown in with the wolves. I think it was good though because it forced me to learn everything quickly. Not only did I do the basic nurse aid tasks, but my preceptor called me into the rooms whenever she was doing wound care or discontinuing IV's so that I could do them. Did I mention that one of the nurses on the floor called in sick today too? We had extra patients, I had a real job and an unofficial role, AND most of our patients were completely immobile. I was running around like a mad man the whole time. One of the female patients made me feel completely gross. I feel horrible saying this, but she did. She was obese, incontinent, had edema (swelling of the legs that makes them rock hard), sloughing black skin, was dirty, smelly, etc etc etc. The worse part was that it was like she was embracing her state. She called me every 30 minutes to put her on the bed pan, to get her off the bed pan (then she said she couldn't use the bed pan. I asked her why and she acted like I was stupid for asking her that), to give her bath in bed; she asked for cookies, ice cream, for the telephone to be moved closer to her ear, for me to fill out her meal selections for the next day, for me to call the nurse. It was ridiculous. Physical therapy was supposed to work with her to get her out of bed, and when I went in the room after they had left I saw her in an awkward position with one shoe on, with her saying "they just left and they aren't coming back." She thought it was funny. The whole time we tried to help her she would complain and moan or say "oh save me Jesus," but then as if verbally slapping us in the face she would say thank you. At one point the nurse and I were assisting her to use the bathroom on the bed pan. The nurse rolled up the bed linens and when she did, a bunch of dead skin and dirt went flying into my face. It was the most disgusting thing ever. I don't mind packing or cleaning wounds, or even wiping people after they use the bathroom, but this really bothered me. It was purely bad hygiene. I took a shower as soon as I got home.

The rest of my patients were physically difficult, but mentally not. They were as compliant as they could be. There was one old man with a lot of medical problems who couldn't remember much. He started throwing up after dinner and said, "I am done. Look at me, I am falling apart," in the saddest, most sincere voice. His daughter was there and said, "no you aren't daddy, your stomach is just upset after dialysis" (kidney treatment). It was so sad. Another one of my patients was talking about her granddaughter in China and how she had something called a "blog" and asked me what it was. I laughed and told her. He granddaughter is teaching English there.

I think I would like to be an OR nurse. I love the cutting and sewing, and everything is sterile! Maybe I would have a hard time because it is so cold, but I could just layer up. It would be worth it to me, I think. Eh I guess I don't need to figure that out yet either. It is only the first day!

Sleep beckons!