Art Journaling

Hello blog followers...

I have felt lead to quit writing for a little bit, and this includes blogging and journaling. With school it is easy to get bogged down with words, concepts, and computers, so I would like to tap into my creative side through different avenues. I want to step out of my routine (and my head) and live a life lead by the Spirit. I keep being reminded of 4 and 5-year-old Sarah that would spend hours and hours in her "Studio" bunk bed drawing and creating. I wish to re-create this sacred space in my life. I have somehow convinced myself that it is pointless to doodle... that it doesn't have a purpose and is a waste of time. The only time I create is with purpose: a gift, a decoration, a task. I also think that I am no good at it because I haven't drawn in so long or because I haven't any formal training. Does any of that even matter? No. I want to do this just for me, when I want to. There will be no pressure. I will just do it when I feel like it, how I feel like it.

Here is my inspiration: http://daisyyellow.squarespace.com/abstract/art-journaling-101.html

Goodbye for now. Perhaps I will write again someday!

Cars stink

My time back in Charlotte has been wonderful, but busy. I still haven't finished unpacking... but I have a had a great time hanging out with friends. My week suddenly got busier when Bekah's car wouldn't start, then Kate's broke, and then mine starting making noise. You never realize how important cars are until yours starts giving you trouble. I had all kinds of relaxing things planned for today: Church, gluten-free baking for Bekah (she has had a rough week, plus I want to bake!), organizing & preparing for school, cleaning my room, etc, but that has all been foiled since I spent 4 hours at Tire Kingdom today. Blah. Something interesting happened while I was there though. When I walked in yesterday, the manager said "you must be Sarah or Lisa". I had told them on the phone my information, but when I walked in he couldn't see my car and had no inclination that I was Sarah except for the fact that I was a girl. I asked him how he knew that and he said he just knew things. I spent a good hour there on Saturday only to find out that I would need to come back Sunday/today because they were waiting on a part to come in. I came back today after church and was told the replacement would take an hour. I arrived at 12:40. Come 2:00 I was starving and tired of waiting. I told the manager who was working up front (same guy who knew my name) that I wanted to leave and was considering walking to get some food and he asked if I was a good driver. I said sure, and he handed me the keys to his toyota solara. He asked me to bring him back some sweet tea, and when I said yes he told me he was just kidding. I assured him that I didn't mind and offered to buy it for him. I figured a $1 sweet tea from McDonalds was a fair trade for him entrusting me with his car. As I pulled out I got honked at from a car that was speeding. Greatttttt I thought. I had hoped he hadn't seen and/or heard. I got my lunch and his snack and came back to the shop. He asked if I had almost got t-boned because he heard the honk. Opps! We chatted a little more and he asked me if I was majoring in psychology. I told him no, that I was majoring in nursing and he said that he thought that because of how I squinted as if thinking deeply when I spoke sometimes. We chatted some more, and then I waited for another two hours. I came back up to the front to bother him as we waited on the final tweaks to be made to my car. He was a nice man, maybe in his 40's & married. He talked to me about nursing and how he knew someone from his Church that did the hiring for CMC and how they were having a hiring freeze. More good news, I thought. He told me he would look at Bekah's car and battery for free if she wanted too (that actually was good news!) Right before I left I asked him once more how he knew I was Sarah and he said he had "already told me". He said, "you won't accept it because it is not logical. I can see that you are rational and have a hard time believing things that don't make sense." He told me to call him if I had any more questions or if I wanted to talk about being logical or how he knew. Weird.

Interestingly enough, this man had me pegged. I really am too logical and rational. I know that often hinders me from praying the big prayers, believing the big dreams.

Today in Church Pastor J preached on the importance of "documenting" what God is doing in our lives, for we often forget. So I am documenting. I don't want to cling hard onto what I have control over or what seems solid, because even these things fail. The Lord will fulfill His promises... Just as I have a peace right now about not having a job, but that I will be provided one when I graduate and not to worry. A peace about enjoying my life right now. It sounds stupid and I don't want to accept it. I am having to be very intentional not to control the situation or try to figure it all out on my own. I want to TRUST.

Raleigh FINALE!

I will start by apologizing about how long this post is going to be. I have entirely too much to say...

Kayla came home friday night and we tie dyed (in the dark) in the front yard. My dress is pretty stinkin cute if I do say so myself. I found EXACTLY what I was looking for at Burlington Coat Factory for only $4.99. How awesome is that? Here is a picture. My fingers were stained blue afterward, but luckily we wash our hands every .2 seconds at the hospital so it came off pretty quickly. However, I did have a blue-green thumb all day Saturday because I had a cut that I covered with tega-derm (basically a clear tape that is meant for small abrasions and/or protecting IV's. Kayla sent me a picture of my dress while I was at work on Saturday and I was so stoked! I feel like it looks like a picture of scenery... blue sky with clouds and green grass. I love it.

Before my saturday shift started I had some quiet-Jesus time and made sure I refocused my heart on serving and loving well, whatever that looked like. No bitter Sarah, anxious to get home. I wanted to be fully present in everything. Good thing I did, I had some CRAZY patients all weekend. And when I say crazy, I mean CRAZY!!!

Patient #1: Older Native American patient. About 6'3" and over 200 lbs. Long hair, wild eyes, dark skin, and staples across the front of his scalp. This may not be politically correct, but he literally looked like he had been scalped by another tribe and then had come to the hospital to get stapled back up. Poor guy. Apparently he is normally very sweet, but the surgery on his frontal lobe made him crazy. When you asked him where he was he would say he was at the hospital, but then follow it by saying he only said that because that is what we were telling him and really he was at his home and this was a conspiracy. He kept claiming there were bugs crawling on the floor and in his bed, and that water was seeping in through the ceiling. He told the NA working the night shift that the male African American nurse had raped her and that she wasn't allowed out of the room until he got his knife. Scary! When I was in there with him I asked about his heritage to start conversation and he was happy to talk about it. He even made a joke saying "I don't live in no wigwams!" and talking about milking cows when I squeezed his finger to get his blood sugar level. A few hours later he yelled and pointed his finger at me saying that I had eyes & he had eyes and that he didn't go around asking people what color they were. It was weird. Later when I was taking his temperature he kept opening his mouth as if playing a game and I told him to "stop. Close your mouth." I had been nice about it the past times, but I was trying to be direct and firm. He got mad, took the thermometer out of his mouth, and began yelling at me again. I told him he could hold the thermometer if he wanted, and he did, but continued to "teach me a lesson." My nurse heard him yelling at me and came into the room. His family was nice to me and assured me I hadn't done anything wrong or offensive. Shew! At one point during the day he got up out of his room, walked into the nursing medicine room, and sat on a chair, butt naked. Kinda gross.

Patient #2: Mid-aged dead head. Grateful dead bears tattoo on his shoulder, admitted for an infected toe. He was constantly asking for pain meds, he pulled out his IV 3 times in one day, and messed up his foot bandage 3 times so that we had to change it. I think in some sick way he enjoyed getting stuck with a needle. I watched him during the last insertion and he had his eyes closed and relaxed as if he were getting a manicure. Weird. At one time I came into his room and he was moving the tubing on his IV and said "ha. Look, I can be a doctor." It took all I had not to say something coy back. I think he was on too much dilaudid (a pain med) because he speech was slurred. At different points in the day he lost his phone (it was in his room), asked where his dog was, wanted security to bring back his wallet from the safe because he was "leaving in a few days and it would take a long time to get it back," but "not to worry" because he "wasn't going to run away or anything." (they had just locked it up that morning), said he had a degree in philosophy, that he used to run 4 miles every morning (he was clearly overweight and after our walk down the hall in which he did ham string curls with me was way out of breath). His two craziest moments were when he left his room and started knocking on the door that said "storage" and said that his friends were in there. I was like "whatttt??" and he said that his friends had called him and that they had left some stuff in storage that he needed to get for them. I explained to him that we did not allow people to keep things in that storage room in the hospital. He argued, but finally I was able to convince him that perhaps his friends "mysterious boxes" were in storage at a storage building. At the end of my shift I was documenting on the computer and he came strolling by with his IV pole and a packed suit case. I asked him where he was going and he said he was going to his room. I pointed and showed him where his room was and he freaked out saying I should not point at him like a dog and that I needed to turn around and do my work. The other nurses assured me that I did nothing wrong, and that sometimes people are crazy. Oh and at another point in the day he totally tried going into another patients room to find me. That is not ok!

Patient #3: old black man with dementia. I tried to get him to eat, but he said he was "stuffed" and that we were "making him fat." He was cute crazy. At one point he was mumbling talking and I asked who he was talking to he said "I'm talking to the baby" and started asking me if the kitchen dishes were clean. Poor guy.

I did have good patients that day too. One was an x-Red socks player with ALS. His daughter was a nurse at "Big" Duke Hospital in Durham and is in charge of hiring new graduates. She gave me her name as a contact. Her dad was so sweet, but a bit discouraged. He has been diagnosed with all kinds of things. Sara, my nurse, made me a DANK peanut butter chocolate cake for my final day and gave him a piece. Even though he has diabetes and isn't supposed to eat stuff like that, he had had a rough day and only has a few years left to live. Like I said, his daughter is a nurse and thought it was appropriate. We all agreed. He said it was the best cake he had ever had and told Sara she should quit being a nurse and bake cakes. She said she has thought about it, but that it is her creative outlet and she wouldn't want it to feel like work. I can relate to that! Before this man left I asked him what his advice for a young wipper-snapper like me would be and here is what he said:
-"Enjoy life, it is a gift."
-"Trust your instincts, thats why you've got em."
-"Be kind, honest, and compassionate." He told me that I already was, but that to continue that way, that there were not enough people in the world who cared.
-his sickness has made him "grow in his faith."
-he looked up at the sky and said that he didn't know why this happened to him, why one day he was running and fit and then the rug was pulled out from under him, but that it served a purpose that only the Big guy knows.
-he said not to let pain go to waste, to offer it up for someone's good intentions
-and "an important part of the recipe for life is: HAVE FUN!" "Work is a small part of life, you should enjoy life and your work too, but work is not your entire life."
-He also told me about how he had died on the operating table once, how his heart had stopped beating. He said a priest came to ask him about it and that this what it was: when he died, he was just part of the air. He didn't see his mom or dad or anything, but he was being in the presence of total joy. He was like a dust particle, but not a particle... he was part of the air. He said it wasn't something you could ever imagine if you hadn't experienced it, but that it was the coolest feeling ever and it was beautiful. He said he was not afraid of death, because he knows that it will be joy. He said "maybe Hell is on earth after all?"

Like I said, Sara made me a yummy cake. It was funny because yesterday all the nurses were being very suspicious and asked me what desserts I liked. The first two were "making a dessert tonight" and asked for suggestions. I told them cobbler was always a good summer dessert, and one said "so you like cobbler?" I said yeah, that it was a good thing for summer, but then realizing that they were scheming quickly added that I was a chocolate girl. At the end of Saturday Sara said she was going to a party and needed to make a dessert. She asked for suggestions and a few nurses answered, I decided to test the water and didn't answer. She looked straight at me so I told her anything chocolate was good. And thus, I got a chocolate cake with peanut butter icing and reeses cups on top. My VERY first homemade cake made for me! Sara and I ran into each other that morning on the elevator for the first time all summer and when I asked what she had she said "ohhh nothing." haha. Another nurse made some dip with beef, cheese, and salsa. I felt adventurous and tried some with my baked potato lunch. Pretty tasty. Little did they know, I had something up my sleeves too and had written them a card and bought ColdStone chocolate from BigLots (cheap-o) the night before.

As I left that evening, all the nurses were very sweet and encouraging. They told me if the next generation of nursing was like me that it was "in good hands." They all asked if I was coming back, and I said I didn't know. They told me to keep in touch and NOT to do Med Surg nursing. I think I will listen to that :)

That night I had chat time with Sarah Joyce in my room and we even cuddled a little bit. How cute. I was so ready to go home to Charlotte, but I this summer has been amazing. I feel like I have grown so much. Not only in nursing, but as a person. This is only the tip of my understanding... I know this summer has impacted me in ways that I have yet to foresee.

It is not that I am any more blessed... it is that my ears have been uncovered to hear His promptings, my feet unchained to follow His lead, and my eyes opened to see His glory.

Charlotte

Yesterday I worked in the Emergency Department at the hospital. I was bored most of the time because there wasn't much for me to do, but I think I would enjoy working there as a nurse. You see a wide variety of patients, make judgments, place orders, etc. Some days are slow and some days are fast, but you never know what you are going to get. I think it would also help me see where my interests were. Do I enjoy hands-on patients care? Or the paper work? Teaching? or Research?

I also attended a mandatory Diversity Training on Wednesday where I leaned about: "Diversity". I feel as though I am pretty culturally sensitive, but this was still a good experience and focused a lot on the effect of diversity and economics. I often forget that a hospital is a business :/ yuck. We each had to share a random fact about ourselves so I shared that I liked/wanted to travel. At the end of the day, the speaker told me to check out the "Transcultural Nursing Society". I googled it this morning and it looks interesting, but I don't feel like it is something I need to pursue right now. It is nice being comfortable in the unknown.

Last night I went out for a birthday dinner with friends and while we were dining my roommate Stefania (Sanji, as I like to call her), the birthday girl, said "Can you just not go home? I don't want you to leave." Sarah Joyce chimed in and agreed. It was then that the boys asked when I was going back to Charlotte and I told them monday. I guess they hadn't realized that it would be so soon, and one of them said "you are going to come back to Raleigh though, right?" I told him I didn't think so and he confidently replied "oh, you will." As I sit here and reflect, I realize I really do like the city of Raleigh. It is a nice size; not too big, not too small. It has the luxuries of a city but that same small-town feel that you grow to love. Not to mention they have fresh produce and NC State ice cream everywhere! But honestly, I am not sure I will want to move here. I kind of want to spend some time enjoying my home. I don't feel like I ever have. I am always on the move, always looking for another adventure or completely consumed by school. I want to enjoy what makes home, home: my people. Maybe this will be accomplished in this next year and I will be ready for another adventure once again, but who knows. Plus I think two big transitions at once may be a bit overwhelming. Moving away right when I graduate + adjusting to life as a working adult nurse = a lot of big change. I am usually one to embrace change, but maybe sometimes we don't have to force it. Maybe sometimes we are supposed to enjoy people and enjoy comfort. Just for a little while... so that we may be refueled to go out once again. I see time with those that I love as a battery charger: infusing life into my veins, filling me to the brim, so that I may be poured out. I still think I will travel as a nurse, but maybe not RIGHT NOW. I often say I just want a friend to come along with me, and I think that is the heart of it. I told my mom this and she said "get your friend Rachel to go with you!" Oh how I would love that! Doesn't Jesus send the disciples out in twos? Don't you think there may be a practical reason behind it?

Ok, time to go apply for a scholarship. Gotta pay them bills!

Create some more

I made this necklace out of a paperclip, 2 beads, and some thin gold wire.

The bobby pin has gold wire that I crocheted into a flower/circle with a bead at the center.

I kind of feel like painting right now. Uh oh inspiration!

Create

I had a young patient this past weekend. He was a 24-year-old, x-NC State football player. It was bizarre having a patient my own age, especially when I had to ask him if he had peed or had a bowel movement in the past couple hours. I think he was a bit uncomfortable with the concept as well because he would say "Number 1, or number 2?" haha. His mother was really sweet. She dressed nicely, and was always smiling. One day I was telling her about my summer internship and how I had gone to NC State for a year to do textiles but that I had "felt a greater calling" and wanted to serve by means of nursing. Later that day, she told me she had studied art in school and then went back to school for journalism so that she could get a job. She encouraged me to continue to be creative because it will "fill me." Interesting choice of words, I thought.

So, today, I vow to do one creative thing a day. One act done purely off of inspiration. Whether that be making a headband like I did today, or going for a hike. Something that I do entirely for me, to "fill me." Thank you, well dressed mother in pearls, thank you.

Be like a child, Part II.

I realized something pretty monumental this week. I do NOT have to be the best nurse ever. I do NOT have to change the world. I do NOT have to push myself to the max of my abilities to see what I can do. There are people who WANT to do that. Instead, I want to just embrace who I am. That, is the easy yoke.

I am a child,
I love my Creator.
I love to learn,
I love to serve.
I play outside,
I run through the trees.
The sun feeds my soul
and joy radiates from within.
I am an artist,
I create beauty with my hands.
I love people,
I love their stories.
I hear music,
I feel horses.
Silence refills my cup
and movement unleashes my spirit.
I am a child.
_________________________________________

This morning I decided I was going to have a good day at work. Per chance, I opened up to Psalm 119:1-8 (the message version) and was fueled.

"You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You're blessed when you follow his directions,
doing your best to find him.
That's right—you don't go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now you expect us to live it.
Oh, that my steps might be steady,
keeping to the course you set;
Then I'd never have any regrets
in comparing my life with your counsel.
I thank you for speaking straight from your heart;
I learn the pattern of your righteous ways.
I'm going to do what you tell me to do;
don't ever walk off and leave me."

I enjoy nursing, but it does not define me. I find it interesting, and it helps shape me more and more into His likeness. Whenever I try to fabricate this "end-all" goal, I feel uneasy. Why do I continue to try to figure it all out? People from all walks of life, all faiths, and all races continue to speak the same message to me: "Embrace your creativity, embrace the creativity of life. You have no idea what doors will open or where you will end up." God's plan is so much greater than mine, why do I even try?

Be like a child.

I read today that between the ages 6 and 11 we are most ourselves, unswayed by "shoulds and shouldn'ts". During this time I had an "art studio" in my room. My studio was the top bunk of my bed. I had a ladder that I would climb to my sacred space and would require others to knock on the wooden frame before they were allowed in. Once I entered elementary school I taught "class" every weekend. I was very serious about it too! My mom would take me to the school supply store where I would buy dry erase boards and markers, make copies of worksheets, and create homework charts. My mom says I put sticky notes all over the living room too. I remember one time a mother got mad at me when I sent her 3 year old home with homework. Haha. When I got a little bit older I moved on to play house, made "roller coasters" by tying wagons to bicycles with jump ropes, and even used headbands, pipe cleaners, and wine corks to make headsets for the pretend drive-thru window in the driveway. I was always conjuring up games for the neighborhood kids... we had club houses, court houses, doctor's offices, you name it! I guess this means that my "perfect job" begins as an art teacher, but after I have 7 children I will decide to make a career change and work at a fast food restaurant at an amusement park. After that brief stint I will work in construction, setting up office spaces for different types of professionals. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Trust

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.

Honor the Lord with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in."

My soul wants to trust, but my flesh fights back.
The heart grows weary of seeking control, but the mind protests that this is just.
Close thine eyes to be lead by You.
Trust. Patience. Obey. Love.

"No one understands."

I slept horribly last night. No idea why, but I woke up at 3:30 am with thoughts, dreams, and schemes. I couldn't go back to sleep. Embracing my sleepless state, I did some work and prepared for my day. I had to go to the education building first thing to take care of my CPR training. That went smoothly except for when I got confused with infant CPR. The instructor confused me when she kept asking me what the next step was, when in reality I was supposed to continue doing the same thing I was already doing. Luckily, she was kind and not too particular with how long it took me to catch on. Then I went up to the 3rd floor which is orthopedics.

The nurse I shadowed is a new nurse who has only been practicing for a year. She got her bachelors from App State and then her nursing degree from John's Hopkins. She said her "plan" was to be an ICU nurse and then go to school to become a CRNA, but that she has realized she needs to quit making plans because life goes differently. She said she is casually applying for other nursing jobs, but isn't sure exactly what type of nursing she wants to do. She said she likes talking to her patients (this is why she has hesitated with CRNA), teaching, critical care, advanced practice, being a leader, and medicine. Sounds like me! She said that as long as she doesn't know what she wants to do, she isn't ready to commit and spend more money on school but that it definitely seems likes an option for the future. We talked about being a doctor vs. a nurse and how it is hard not being the one on the top of totem poll. In school, she was top of her class, smart, motivated, and a leader. She said that no one really understands what it is like working 12 hour shifts in the hospital and that it is hard to relate. I agree. It was really good hearing her voice all of this, because I was feeling like I was the only one. It is like you are in this time warp of busy-ness. Sure, in other jobs you work long hours, but with nursing every moment counts. You aren't given a task list that you can complete at your leisure. Feeling inspired to begin the write-up for your boss at 11:15 instead of 11? Go for it. Needing a lunch pick-me-up from McAllisters? Your colleague may join you. Need to make a doctors appointment? Definitely. In nursing, you can't do any of that. Patients call you during your one 30-minute break to have you wipe their butts. You can't say "no, sorry, I'll come back to you later." You go. If you need a "break" during your shift you go hide (still standing on already sore feet might I add) in the medication closet to try and get yourself together before returning to the floor, where calculating deadly dosages is somehow sandwiched between the roles of waitress and maid. You can't take time off to go get your teeth cleaned or mail that already late birthday package; all of your errands must wait until the next day when you aren't working. The idea of 4 days off sounds wonderful until you factor in that you spend that time recovering from a day of lost life. It's so weird! Sorry if this seems like a rant, I don't mean for it to, it just IS what it IS. I want to learn to adapt to this life, but at the same time I think I just want to work a 9 to 5 like the rest of the world.

Date!

Today I had a wonderful date... with my roommate Sarah Joyce! We got pedicures, had great talks, visited a garden/her boy friend's design project, and went to Good Berry's for frozen custard. Yum!

The only yucky part of my day was realizing that my CPR had expired, telling my employer, finding out that I could not come back to work until it was fixed, paying to take a course online, studying, taking (and passing!) the test, calling my employer, arranging to come in tomorrow to get the second half of the test taken care of. Yikes! I have to make a few phone calls tomorrow too to try to get everything squared away. I did not mean for this to happen.

Also, I feel like I have spent so much money today. I had to buy textbooks, renew my yoga instructor certification, buy new shoes, pay for CPR, and pay other bills. I have enough to pay for all of it, but there is still something about spending money that makes me uneasy. What a necessary evil it is! I want to trust in this area of my life.

Book

Today a nurse said, "we need to write a book with all of our stories." hmm.

Pooped.

Today I was free from my Nursing Assistant duties and got to spend the whole day with my preceptor nurse, Sara. For some reason I am exhausted today... I am not sure why either. I got to bed around 10:30, and woke up at 5:30, and my tasks today were easy. However, I was cold, tired, and wanting to be home alllll day. When I arrived to the house I jumped in the freshly cleaned shower (Sarah had bleached it, bless her), and stayed there for about 20 minutes just letting the water wash over me. I felt bad "wasting time" or water, but I needed it. I made breakfast for dinner and plan on going to bed VERY early. Of course I wanted to do some record keeping before...

Today I helped set up a tube feeding, emptied a Jackson Pratt drain, removed a foley catheter, hung IV's, assisted in teaching a spanish-speaking patient how to check his own blood sugar, and participated in a bedside chest tube removal and insertion. The chest tube insertion was the highlight of the day. A patient involved in a motorcycle accident a few weeks ago was admitted to the hospital because of fluid build up in his lungs. His wife, and himself were taking a road trip when a deer hit them. The two ate pavement, and the husband broke his ribs. He stayed in a po-dunk hospital for a few days and then was sent home. A few weeks later he was outside, felt a sharp pain, and was unable to breath. He was put to sleep while a chest tube was placed to help drain the fluid off of his lung. The drain had not been draining much, and the patient had a high heart rate with difficulty breathing. The main doctor, Dr. 1, said everything was fine, but my nurse, myself, and the patient's wife (a neonatal nurse practitioner) thought the patient appeared to be getting worse. He was pale, sweaty, and seemed to be in an increasing amount of pain. The nurse called Dr. 1 to voice her concerns, but he was un-phased. My nurse decided to call another doctor, Dr. 2, to come look at the patient. Dr. 2 did not like what he saw and called Dr. 1 and basically asked him why the heck he wasn't worried. Dr. 1 finally ordered a chest x-ray which showed the fluid had not decreased since admission. Dr. 1 decided he was going to put in a new chest drain at the bedside. All of the nurses scurried around to get everything for him, for they did not want to inconvenience the doctor any more [for doing his job.] Dr. 1 wouldn't give the patient any more pain medicine than he was already prescribed because he thought the patient had enough. Therefore, the patient moaned, yelled, and whimpered while Dr. 1 cut his chest and shoved a new hard tube into his diaphram. At one point the patient flinched so hard that his knee hit Dr. 1's arm, pushing the tube in even further. Nice, huh? Apparently surgeons are rather insensitive to pain because their patients are usually sedated in the operating room. Kind of ridiculous. The poor patient said, "the other patients are going to get scared. I feel bad." after the procedure was done.

Dr. 2 was a really nice man, and I overheard him telling someone how he won't let his children be doctors because of how much it takes over your life, and how he had missed seeing his children grow up. He said that each year he says, I will do this or that, but that he never can get away. He asked, "when will I have time for my wife, when I am pushing her in a wheel chair?" He said that in med school they tell you it will get better, but it never does. He did, however, say that he has made some changes and now only works 60 hours a week. That is crazy. I don't think I could ever do that. This is not the first medical professional that I have heard say they won't let their children go into medicine or healthcare. Interesting.

Another patient left Sara and I a sweet note when she left thanking us for our care. She said we were her favorite :) As she left she gave me a hug and said that she "felt like she knew me." This is the second note that has been received with my name mentioned. It does a heart some good.