I ran my third half marathon yesterday. I literally had not run for over a month due to work stress, moving, and a hurt hip flexor. I was keeping up my fitness from September to Novemember with CrossFit (which I think triggered my hip problems), but I took a break to focus on getting settled in my new home and save money for grad school.
Last week I really wasn't sure if I would be able to complete the half marathon. I was a little disappointed in myself because I signed up months ago thinking I would have "plenty of time" to train. My friend Michelle and I signed up together, and despite whether or not I could run I was determined to visit her in Charleston this weekend. Michelle helped me to train and complete my first two half marathons and has been a wonderful friend over the course of three years. I think this may be our last half for a while because Michelle moved to Charleston for a Church-plant with her husband and is now 14 weeks pregnant with her first child. Yes, she ran a half marathon pregnant! She is a rock star! Anyways, life seems to be taking us in different directions which is bitter sweet. I suppose that is what happens as you grow up... Anyways, I did it!! Michelle and I ran slow and talked the whole time. It was a very enjoyable experience and we were both able to run safely and listen to our bodies in their current conditions. It was really special being able to share one more run before our lives change yet again.
Personally, this run also showed me how incredible my body and mind are. It is easy to look at our short-comings or failures: I should have worked out more, I should have eaten healthier, I should have woken up earlier, I should have blah blah blah. I think these half marathons are HALF mental. It is believing you are strong and capable, and having the will to complete it. There is so much internal strength and gratification that can come from completing a race... and even more so when you almost don't think you can. I am thankful for this humbling and empowering experience. It is true that there are things I could have done to train faster and harder, but at the end of the day I overcame what I thought was impossible, and there is strength in that.
I have a long way to go before I meet my new year's resolution of a sub-2 hour half marathon, but I now KNOW that it is attainable.
An older nurse gave me some advise the other day. I was frustrated that I wasn't "perfect" at getting IV's on patients (I literally only missed one of twenty-something, which I realize is very good, but not perfect). She said, "Sarah, be patient with yourself. All these skills will come." I think I can apply that to all areas of my life. Who doesn't want everything now? I am used to putting in extra effort to yield quicker and more desireable results, but that doesn't always work in life. Sometimes you just have to wait and be patient.
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congratulations on your half marathon! it is a huge victory. it's good you noticed how much you were should-ing on yourself. we all do it. it's as useless as worry is. and we all do it. being in the moment and accepting what is (outside of perfectionism) is a lifelong challenge. that's where God comes in, to show us we are whole and perfect right where we are.
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