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Art Journaling

Hello blog followers...

I have felt lead to quit writing for a little bit, and this includes blogging and journaling. With school it is easy to get bogged down with words, concepts, and computers, so I would like to tap into my creative side through different avenues. I want to step out of my routine (and my head) and live a life lead by the Spirit. I keep being reminded of 4 and 5-year-old Sarah that would spend hours and hours in her "Studio" bunk bed drawing and creating. I wish to re-create this sacred space in my life. I have somehow convinced myself that it is pointless to doodle... that it doesn't have a purpose and is a waste of time. The only time I create is with purpose: a gift, a decoration, a task. I also think that I am no good at it because I haven't drawn in so long or because I haven't any formal training. Does any of that even matter? No. I want to do this just for me, when I want to. There will be no pressure. I will just do it when I feel like it, how I feel like it.

Here is my inspiration: http://daisyyellow.squarespace.com/abstract/art-journaling-101.html

Goodbye for now. Perhaps I will write again someday!

Cars stink

My time back in Charlotte has been wonderful, but busy. I still haven't finished unpacking... but I have a had a great time hanging out with friends. My week suddenly got busier when Bekah's car wouldn't start, then Kate's broke, and then mine starting making noise. You never realize how important cars are until yours starts giving you trouble. I had all kinds of relaxing things planned for today: Church, gluten-free baking for Bekah (she has had a rough week, plus I want to bake!), organizing & preparing for school, cleaning my room, etc, but that has all been foiled since I spent 4 hours at Tire Kingdom today. Blah. Something interesting happened while I was there though. When I walked in yesterday, the manager said "you must be Sarah or Lisa". I had told them on the phone my information, but when I walked in he couldn't see my car and had no inclination that I was Sarah except for the fact that I was a girl. I asked him how he knew that and he said he just knew things. I spent a good hour there on Saturday only to find out that I would need to come back Sunday/today because they were waiting on a part to come in. I came back today after church and was told the replacement would take an hour. I arrived at 12:40. Come 2:00 I was starving and tired of waiting. I told the manager who was working up front (same guy who knew my name) that I wanted to leave and was considering walking to get some food and he asked if I was a good driver. I said sure, and he handed me the keys to his toyota solara. He asked me to bring him back some sweet tea, and when I said yes he told me he was just kidding. I assured him that I didn't mind and offered to buy it for him. I figured a $1 sweet tea from McDonalds was a fair trade for him entrusting me with his car. As I pulled out I got honked at from a car that was speeding. Greatttttt I thought. I had hoped he hadn't seen and/or heard. I got my lunch and his snack and came back to the shop. He asked if I had almost got t-boned because he heard the honk. Opps! We chatted a little more and he asked me if I was majoring in psychology. I told him no, that I was majoring in nursing and he said that he thought that because of how I squinted as if thinking deeply when I spoke sometimes. We chatted some more, and then I waited for another two hours. I came back up to the front to bother him as we waited on the final tweaks to be made to my car. He was a nice man, maybe in his 40's & married. He talked to me about nursing and how he knew someone from his Church that did the hiring for CMC and how they were having a hiring freeze. More good news, I thought. He told me he would look at Bekah's car and battery for free if she wanted too (that actually was good news!) Right before I left I asked him once more how he knew I was Sarah and he said he had "already told me". He said, "you won't accept it because it is not logical. I can see that you are rational and have a hard time believing things that don't make sense." He told me to call him if I had any more questions or if I wanted to talk about being logical or how he knew. Weird.

Interestingly enough, this man had me pegged. I really am too logical and rational. I know that often hinders me from praying the big prayers, believing the big dreams.

Today in Church Pastor J preached on the importance of "documenting" what God is doing in our lives, for we often forget. So I am documenting. I don't want to cling hard onto what I have control over or what seems solid, because even these things fail. The Lord will fulfill His promises... Just as I have a peace right now about not having a job, but that I will be provided one when I graduate and not to worry. A peace about enjoying my life right now. It sounds stupid and I don't want to accept it. I am having to be very intentional not to control the situation or try to figure it all out on my own. I want to TRUST.

Raleigh FINALE!

I will start by apologizing about how long this post is going to be. I have entirely too much to say...

Kayla came home friday night and we tie dyed (in the dark) in the front yard. My dress is pretty stinkin cute if I do say so myself. I found EXACTLY what I was looking for at Burlington Coat Factory for only $4.99. How awesome is that? Here is a picture. My fingers were stained blue afterward, but luckily we wash our hands every .2 seconds at the hospital so it came off pretty quickly. However, I did have a blue-green thumb all day Saturday because I had a cut that I covered with tega-derm (basically a clear tape that is meant for small abrasions and/or protecting IV's. Kayla sent me a picture of my dress while I was at work on Saturday and I was so stoked! I feel like it looks like a picture of scenery... blue sky with clouds and green grass. I love it.

Before my saturday shift started I had some quiet-Jesus time and made sure I refocused my heart on serving and loving well, whatever that looked like. No bitter Sarah, anxious to get home. I wanted to be fully present in everything. Good thing I did, I had some CRAZY patients all weekend. And when I say crazy, I mean CRAZY!!!

Patient #1: Older Native American patient. About 6'3" and over 200 lbs. Long hair, wild eyes, dark skin, and staples across the front of his scalp. This may not be politically correct, but he literally looked like he had been scalped by another tribe and then had come to the hospital to get stapled back up. Poor guy. Apparently he is normally very sweet, but the surgery on his frontal lobe made him crazy. When you asked him where he was he would say he was at the hospital, but then follow it by saying he only said that because that is what we were telling him and really he was at his home and this was a conspiracy. He kept claiming there were bugs crawling on the floor and in his bed, and that water was seeping in through the ceiling. He told the NA working the night shift that the male African American nurse had raped her and that she wasn't allowed out of the room until he got his knife. Scary! When I was in there with him I asked about his heritage to start conversation and he was happy to talk about it. He even made a joke saying "I don't live in no wigwams!" and talking about milking cows when I squeezed his finger to get his blood sugar level. A few hours later he yelled and pointed his finger at me saying that I had eyes & he had eyes and that he didn't go around asking people what color they were. It was weird. Later when I was taking his temperature he kept opening his mouth as if playing a game and I told him to "stop. Close your mouth." I had been nice about it the past times, but I was trying to be direct and firm. He got mad, took the thermometer out of his mouth, and began yelling at me again. I told him he could hold the thermometer if he wanted, and he did, but continued to "teach me a lesson." My nurse heard him yelling at me and came into the room. His family was nice to me and assured me I hadn't done anything wrong or offensive. Shew! At one point during the day he got up out of his room, walked into the nursing medicine room, and sat on a chair, butt naked. Kinda gross.

Patient #2: Mid-aged dead head. Grateful dead bears tattoo on his shoulder, admitted for an infected toe. He was constantly asking for pain meds, he pulled out his IV 3 times in one day, and messed up his foot bandage 3 times so that we had to change it. I think in some sick way he enjoyed getting stuck with a needle. I watched him during the last insertion and he had his eyes closed and relaxed as if he were getting a manicure. Weird. At one time I came into his room and he was moving the tubing on his IV and said "ha. Look, I can be a doctor." It took all I had not to say something coy back. I think he was on too much dilaudid (a pain med) because he speech was slurred. At different points in the day he lost his phone (it was in his room), asked where his dog was, wanted security to bring back his wallet from the safe because he was "leaving in a few days and it would take a long time to get it back," but "not to worry" because he "wasn't going to run away or anything." (they had just locked it up that morning), said he had a degree in philosophy, that he used to run 4 miles every morning (he was clearly overweight and after our walk down the hall in which he did ham string curls with me was way out of breath). His two craziest moments were when he left his room and started knocking on the door that said "storage" and said that his friends were in there. I was like "whatttt??" and he said that his friends had called him and that they had left some stuff in storage that he needed to get for them. I explained to him that we did not allow people to keep things in that storage room in the hospital. He argued, but finally I was able to convince him that perhaps his friends "mysterious boxes" were in storage at a storage building. At the end of my shift I was documenting on the computer and he came strolling by with his IV pole and a packed suit case. I asked him where he was going and he said he was going to his room. I pointed and showed him where his room was and he freaked out saying I should not point at him like a dog and that I needed to turn around and do my work. The other nurses assured me that I did nothing wrong, and that sometimes people are crazy. Oh and at another point in the day he totally tried going into another patients room to find me. That is not ok!

Patient #3: old black man with dementia. I tried to get him to eat, but he said he was "stuffed" and that we were "making him fat." He was cute crazy. At one point he was mumbling talking and I asked who he was talking to he said "I'm talking to the baby" and started asking me if the kitchen dishes were clean. Poor guy.

I did have good patients that day too. One was an x-Red socks player with ALS. His daughter was a nurse at "Big" Duke Hospital in Durham and is in charge of hiring new graduates. She gave me her name as a contact. Her dad was so sweet, but a bit discouraged. He has been diagnosed with all kinds of things. Sara, my nurse, made me a DANK peanut butter chocolate cake for my final day and gave him a piece. Even though he has diabetes and isn't supposed to eat stuff like that, he had had a rough day and only has a few years left to live. Like I said, his daughter is a nurse and thought it was appropriate. We all agreed. He said it was the best cake he had ever had and told Sara she should quit being a nurse and bake cakes. She said she has thought about it, but that it is her creative outlet and she wouldn't want it to feel like work. I can relate to that! Before this man left I asked him what his advice for a young wipper-snapper like me would be and here is what he said:
-"Enjoy life, it is a gift."
-"Trust your instincts, thats why you've got em."
-"Be kind, honest, and compassionate." He told me that I already was, but that to continue that way, that there were not enough people in the world who cared.
-his sickness has made him "grow in his faith."
-he looked up at the sky and said that he didn't know why this happened to him, why one day he was running and fit and then the rug was pulled out from under him, but that it served a purpose that only the Big guy knows.
-he said not to let pain go to waste, to offer it up for someone's good intentions
-and "an important part of the recipe for life is: HAVE FUN!" "Work is a small part of life, you should enjoy life and your work too, but work is not your entire life."
-He also told me about how he had died on the operating table once, how his heart had stopped beating. He said a priest came to ask him about it and that this what it was: when he died, he was just part of the air. He didn't see his mom or dad or anything, but he was being in the presence of total joy. He was like a dust particle, but not a particle... he was part of the air. He said it wasn't something you could ever imagine if you hadn't experienced it, but that it was the coolest feeling ever and it was beautiful. He said he was not afraid of death, because he knows that it will be joy. He said "maybe Hell is on earth after all?"

Like I said, Sara made me a yummy cake. It was funny because yesterday all the nurses were being very suspicious and asked me what desserts I liked. The first two were "making a dessert tonight" and asked for suggestions. I told them cobbler was always a good summer dessert, and one said "so you like cobbler?" I said yeah, that it was a good thing for summer, but then realizing that they were scheming quickly added that I was a chocolate girl. At the end of Saturday Sara said she was going to a party and needed to make a dessert. She asked for suggestions and a few nurses answered, I decided to test the water and didn't answer. She looked straight at me so I told her anything chocolate was good. And thus, I got a chocolate cake with peanut butter icing and reeses cups on top. My VERY first homemade cake made for me! Sara and I ran into each other that morning on the elevator for the first time all summer and when I asked what she had she said "ohhh nothing." haha. Another nurse made some dip with beef, cheese, and salsa. I felt adventurous and tried some with my baked potato lunch. Pretty tasty. Little did they know, I had something up my sleeves too and had written them a card and bought ColdStone chocolate from BigLots (cheap-o) the night before.

As I left that evening, all the nurses were very sweet and encouraging. They told me if the next generation of nursing was like me that it was "in good hands." They all asked if I was coming back, and I said I didn't know. They told me to keep in touch and NOT to do Med Surg nursing. I think I will listen to that :)

That night I had chat time with Sarah Joyce in my room and we even cuddled a little bit. How cute. I was so ready to go home to Charlotte, but I this summer has been amazing. I feel like I have grown so much. Not only in nursing, but as a person. This is only the tip of my understanding... I know this summer has impacted me in ways that I have yet to foresee.

It is not that I am any more blessed... it is that my ears have been uncovered to hear His promptings, my feet unchained to follow His lead, and my eyes opened to see His glory.

Charlotte

Yesterday I worked in the Emergency Department at the hospital. I was bored most of the time because there wasn't much for me to do, but I think I would enjoy working there as a nurse. You see a wide variety of patients, make judgments, place orders, etc. Some days are slow and some days are fast, but you never know what you are going to get. I think it would also help me see where my interests were. Do I enjoy hands-on patients care? Or the paper work? Teaching? or Research?

I also attended a mandatory Diversity Training on Wednesday where I leaned about: "Diversity". I feel as though I am pretty culturally sensitive, but this was still a good experience and focused a lot on the effect of diversity and economics. I often forget that a hospital is a business :/ yuck. We each had to share a random fact about ourselves so I shared that I liked/wanted to travel. At the end of the day, the speaker told me to check out the "Transcultural Nursing Society". I googled it this morning and it looks interesting, but I don't feel like it is something I need to pursue right now. It is nice being comfortable in the unknown.

Last night I went out for a birthday dinner with friends and while we were dining my roommate Stefania (Sanji, as I like to call her), the birthday girl, said "Can you just not go home? I don't want you to leave." Sarah Joyce chimed in and agreed. It was then that the boys asked when I was going back to Charlotte and I told them monday. I guess they hadn't realized that it would be so soon, and one of them said "you are going to come back to Raleigh though, right?" I told him I didn't think so and he confidently replied "oh, you will." As I sit here and reflect, I realize I really do like the city of Raleigh. It is a nice size; not too big, not too small. It has the luxuries of a city but that same small-town feel that you grow to love. Not to mention they have fresh produce and NC State ice cream everywhere! But honestly, I am not sure I will want to move here. I kind of want to spend some time enjoying my home. I don't feel like I ever have. I am always on the move, always looking for another adventure or completely consumed by school. I want to enjoy what makes home, home: my people. Maybe this will be accomplished in this next year and I will be ready for another adventure once again, but who knows. Plus I think two big transitions at once may be a bit overwhelming. Moving away right when I graduate + adjusting to life as a working adult nurse = a lot of big change. I am usually one to embrace change, but maybe sometimes we don't have to force it. Maybe sometimes we are supposed to enjoy people and enjoy comfort. Just for a little while... so that we may be refueled to go out once again. I see time with those that I love as a battery charger: infusing life into my veins, filling me to the brim, so that I may be poured out. I still think I will travel as a nurse, but maybe not RIGHT NOW. I often say I just want a friend to come along with me, and I think that is the heart of it. I told my mom this and she said "get your friend Rachel to go with you!" Oh how I would love that! Doesn't Jesus send the disciples out in twos? Don't you think there may be a practical reason behind it?

Ok, time to go apply for a scholarship. Gotta pay them bills!

Create some more

I made this necklace out of a paperclip, 2 beads, and some thin gold wire.

The bobby pin has gold wire that I crocheted into a flower/circle with a bead at the center.

I kind of feel like painting right now. Uh oh inspiration!

Create

I had a young patient this past weekend. He was a 24-year-old, x-NC State football player. It was bizarre having a patient my own age, especially when I had to ask him if he had peed or had a bowel movement in the past couple hours. I think he was a bit uncomfortable with the concept as well because he would say "Number 1, or number 2?" haha. His mother was really sweet. She dressed nicely, and was always smiling. One day I was telling her about my summer internship and how I had gone to NC State for a year to do textiles but that I had "felt a greater calling" and wanted to serve by means of nursing. Later that day, she told me she had studied art in school and then went back to school for journalism so that she could get a job. She encouraged me to continue to be creative because it will "fill me." Interesting choice of words, I thought.

So, today, I vow to do one creative thing a day. One act done purely off of inspiration. Whether that be making a headband like I did today, or going for a hike. Something that I do entirely for me, to "fill me." Thank you, well dressed mother in pearls, thank you.

Be like a child, Part II.

I realized something pretty monumental this week. I do NOT have to be the best nurse ever. I do NOT have to change the world. I do NOT have to push myself to the max of my abilities to see what I can do. There are people who WANT to do that. Instead, I want to just embrace who I am. That, is the easy yoke.

I am a child,
I love my Creator.
I love to learn,
I love to serve.
I play outside,
I run through the trees.
The sun feeds my soul
and joy radiates from within.
I am an artist,
I create beauty with my hands.
I love people,
I love their stories.
I hear music,
I feel horses.
Silence refills my cup
and movement unleashes my spirit.
I am a child.
_________________________________________

This morning I decided I was going to have a good day at work. Per chance, I opened up to Psalm 119:1-8 (the message version) and was fueled.

"You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You're blessed when you follow his directions,
doing your best to find him.
That's right—you don't go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now you expect us to live it.
Oh, that my steps might be steady,
keeping to the course you set;
Then I'd never have any regrets
in comparing my life with your counsel.
I thank you for speaking straight from your heart;
I learn the pattern of your righteous ways.
I'm going to do what you tell me to do;
don't ever walk off and leave me."

I enjoy nursing, but it does not define me. I find it interesting, and it helps shape me more and more into His likeness. Whenever I try to fabricate this "end-all" goal, I feel uneasy. Why do I continue to try to figure it all out? People from all walks of life, all faiths, and all races continue to speak the same message to me: "Embrace your creativity, embrace the creativity of life. You have no idea what doors will open or where you will end up." God's plan is so much greater than mine, why do I even try?

Be like a child.

I read today that between the ages 6 and 11 we are most ourselves, unswayed by "shoulds and shouldn'ts". During this time I had an "art studio" in my room. My studio was the top bunk of my bed. I had a ladder that I would climb to my sacred space and would require others to knock on the wooden frame before they were allowed in. Once I entered elementary school I taught "class" every weekend. I was very serious about it too! My mom would take me to the school supply store where I would buy dry erase boards and markers, make copies of worksheets, and create homework charts. My mom says I put sticky notes all over the living room too. I remember one time a mother got mad at me when I sent her 3 year old home with homework. Haha. When I got a little bit older I moved on to play house, made "roller coasters" by tying wagons to bicycles with jump ropes, and even used headbands, pipe cleaners, and wine corks to make headsets for the pretend drive-thru window in the driveway. I was always conjuring up games for the neighborhood kids... we had club houses, court houses, doctor's offices, you name it! I guess this means that my "perfect job" begins as an art teacher, but after I have 7 children I will decide to make a career change and work at a fast food restaurant at an amusement park. After that brief stint I will work in construction, setting up office spaces for different types of professionals. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Trust

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.

Honor the Lord with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in."

My soul wants to trust, but my flesh fights back.
The heart grows weary of seeking control, but the mind protests that this is just.
Close thine eyes to be lead by You.
Trust. Patience. Obey. Love.

"No one understands."

I slept horribly last night. No idea why, but I woke up at 3:30 am with thoughts, dreams, and schemes. I couldn't go back to sleep. Embracing my sleepless state, I did some work and prepared for my day. I had to go to the education building first thing to take care of my CPR training. That went smoothly except for when I got confused with infant CPR. The instructor confused me when she kept asking me what the next step was, when in reality I was supposed to continue doing the same thing I was already doing. Luckily, she was kind and not too particular with how long it took me to catch on. Then I went up to the 3rd floor which is orthopedics.

The nurse I shadowed is a new nurse who has only been practicing for a year. She got her bachelors from App State and then her nursing degree from John's Hopkins. She said her "plan" was to be an ICU nurse and then go to school to become a CRNA, but that she has realized she needs to quit making plans because life goes differently. She said she is casually applying for other nursing jobs, but isn't sure exactly what type of nursing she wants to do. She said she likes talking to her patients (this is why she has hesitated with CRNA), teaching, critical care, advanced practice, being a leader, and medicine. Sounds like me! She said that as long as she doesn't know what she wants to do, she isn't ready to commit and spend more money on school but that it definitely seems likes an option for the future. We talked about being a doctor vs. a nurse and how it is hard not being the one on the top of totem poll. In school, she was top of her class, smart, motivated, and a leader. She said that no one really understands what it is like working 12 hour shifts in the hospital and that it is hard to relate. I agree. It was really good hearing her voice all of this, because I was feeling like I was the only one. It is like you are in this time warp of busy-ness. Sure, in other jobs you work long hours, but with nursing every moment counts. You aren't given a task list that you can complete at your leisure. Feeling inspired to begin the write-up for your boss at 11:15 instead of 11? Go for it. Needing a lunch pick-me-up from McAllisters? Your colleague may join you. Need to make a doctors appointment? Definitely. In nursing, you can't do any of that. Patients call you during your one 30-minute break to have you wipe their butts. You can't say "no, sorry, I'll come back to you later." You go. If you need a "break" during your shift you go hide (still standing on already sore feet might I add) in the medication closet to try and get yourself together before returning to the floor, where calculating deadly dosages is somehow sandwiched between the roles of waitress and maid. You can't take time off to go get your teeth cleaned or mail that already late birthday package; all of your errands must wait until the next day when you aren't working. The idea of 4 days off sounds wonderful until you factor in that you spend that time recovering from a day of lost life. It's so weird! Sorry if this seems like a rant, I don't mean for it to, it just IS what it IS. I want to learn to adapt to this life, but at the same time I think I just want to work a 9 to 5 like the rest of the world.

Date!

Today I had a wonderful date... with my roommate Sarah Joyce! We got pedicures, had great talks, visited a garden/her boy friend's design project, and went to Good Berry's for frozen custard. Yum!

The only yucky part of my day was realizing that my CPR had expired, telling my employer, finding out that I could not come back to work until it was fixed, paying to take a course online, studying, taking (and passing!) the test, calling my employer, arranging to come in tomorrow to get the second half of the test taken care of. Yikes! I have to make a few phone calls tomorrow too to try to get everything squared away. I did not mean for this to happen.

Also, I feel like I have spent so much money today. I had to buy textbooks, renew my yoga instructor certification, buy new shoes, pay for CPR, and pay other bills. I have enough to pay for all of it, but there is still something about spending money that makes me uneasy. What a necessary evil it is! I want to trust in this area of my life.

Book

Today a nurse said, "we need to write a book with all of our stories." hmm.

Pooped.

Today I was free from my Nursing Assistant duties and got to spend the whole day with my preceptor nurse, Sara. For some reason I am exhausted today... I am not sure why either. I got to bed around 10:30, and woke up at 5:30, and my tasks today were easy. However, I was cold, tired, and wanting to be home alllll day. When I arrived to the house I jumped in the freshly cleaned shower (Sarah had bleached it, bless her), and stayed there for about 20 minutes just letting the water wash over me. I felt bad "wasting time" or water, but I needed it. I made breakfast for dinner and plan on going to bed VERY early. Of course I wanted to do some record keeping before...

Today I helped set up a tube feeding, emptied a Jackson Pratt drain, removed a foley catheter, hung IV's, assisted in teaching a spanish-speaking patient how to check his own blood sugar, and participated in a bedside chest tube removal and insertion. The chest tube insertion was the highlight of the day. A patient involved in a motorcycle accident a few weeks ago was admitted to the hospital because of fluid build up in his lungs. His wife, and himself were taking a road trip when a deer hit them. The two ate pavement, and the husband broke his ribs. He stayed in a po-dunk hospital for a few days and then was sent home. A few weeks later he was outside, felt a sharp pain, and was unable to breath. He was put to sleep while a chest tube was placed to help drain the fluid off of his lung. The drain had not been draining much, and the patient had a high heart rate with difficulty breathing. The main doctor, Dr. 1, said everything was fine, but my nurse, myself, and the patient's wife (a neonatal nurse practitioner) thought the patient appeared to be getting worse. He was pale, sweaty, and seemed to be in an increasing amount of pain. The nurse called Dr. 1 to voice her concerns, but he was un-phased. My nurse decided to call another doctor, Dr. 2, to come look at the patient. Dr. 2 did not like what he saw and called Dr. 1 and basically asked him why the heck he wasn't worried. Dr. 1 finally ordered a chest x-ray which showed the fluid had not decreased since admission. Dr. 1 decided he was going to put in a new chest drain at the bedside. All of the nurses scurried around to get everything for him, for they did not want to inconvenience the doctor any more [for doing his job.] Dr. 1 wouldn't give the patient any more pain medicine than he was already prescribed because he thought the patient had enough. Therefore, the patient moaned, yelled, and whimpered while Dr. 1 cut his chest and shoved a new hard tube into his diaphram. At one point the patient flinched so hard that his knee hit Dr. 1's arm, pushing the tube in even further. Nice, huh? Apparently surgeons are rather insensitive to pain because their patients are usually sedated in the operating room. Kind of ridiculous. The poor patient said, "the other patients are going to get scared. I feel bad." after the procedure was done.

Dr. 2 was a really nice man, and I overheard him telling someone how he won't let his children be doctors because of how much it takes over your life, and how he had missed seeing his children grow up. He said that each year he says, I will do this or that, but that he never can get away. He asked, "when will I have time for my wife, when I am pushing her in a wheel chair?" He said that in med school they tell you it will get better, but it never does. He did, however, say that he has made some changes and now only works 60 hours a week. That is crazy. I don't think I could ever do that. This is not the first medical professional that I have heard say they won't let their children go into medicine or healthcare. Interesting.

Another patient left Sara and I a sweet note when she left thanking us for our care. She said we were her favorite :) As she left she gave me a hug and said that she "felt like she knew me." This is the second note that has been received with my name mentioned. It does a heart some good.

Piano Playing

I almost find it aggravating how many touching moments I have had this summer because then I want to write them down so that I do not forget.

My patients speak such wise words... I find it both a blessing and tragedy that people often learn the most important truths about life when they are faced with death. For example, when a patient with only months left tells you: "I expect to hear you play a song on the piano this time next year", you know it is time to start dabbling on those keys.

Today I had a patient who began showing signs of ALS (https://health.google.com/health/ref/Amyotrophic+lateral+sclerosis) in April, and lays in her bed almost completely paralyzed today. I didn't talk to this woman very much, but the few conversations we had left my heart aching. She had no appetite, no mobility, a tube feeding into her stomach, immense pain, and a horrible prognosis. And she was only in her 50's. She has 5 children and 7 grandchildren, and the chances of her seeing another birth or wedding are slim. How do you cope with something like this? How do go from a full functioning life to having a doctor tell you that within months you will soon be unable to speak? Before I knew much about this woman, I felt compelled to pray for her. I didn't want to seem like a weirdo, so I did it silently as I set up her bedside table. I asked about her life a little bit, and she told me how her husband and herself used to travel as gospel singers. She said she was trained in piano and was about to start learning violin, but that the onset of ALS had kept her from picking it up. She told me, "see, you shouldn't wait to start doing the things you want to do, you never know when it could be too late." I told her that I had always wanted to learn to play the piano and she smiled saying, "well I bet I will be back here in a year, so when I do, I am going to expect that you have started to play." I nodded, half wondering if she really would be back, half wondering if I would ever actually try to fumble my way through a tune. I told her that my grandfather used to play piano, but that he had recently stopped. The woman told me to tell him to keep playing, and reminded me that one could never be too old to learn. I decided to go out on a whim and asked her if I could pray. What could it hurt? She graciously told me yes and opened up her hand for me to grab. After my short words, she thanked me, and quoted Philippians 4:13, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength", emphasizing that He said EVERYTHING. She told me to continue to be strong and courageous in my offering of prayers, and to keep letting God use me like that. She shared that her husband was a docile man, but that he was a prayer warrior, always being asked to pray for people. (I met him later that evening and he was indeed a sweet man, rubbing his wife's sore feet. He had love written in his eyes. He was black and she was white.)

I don't want to wait until death to begin living. Why spend our entire lives working for a goal that may never be reached? Why not live our lives responding as the blessed children we are, open to receive from our Father.

Nurse Sarah

Here is a picture I took of myself yesterday after work. I was going to get one of my roommates to take it but she was asleep. Thank goodness for photo timers. For fun, I have also included a picture my Aunt recently sent of me as a wee tot.

Banana Bag

I feel like I have been hooked up to a BANANA BAG this week. What is a banana bag you ask? It is a bag of IV fluids that contains vitamins and minerals to replenish a deficient body. I know it is only thursday, but I have had such a great day today (and the past few days) that I cannot help but relish.

Monday: I woke up early to drive back to Charlotte for an interview at the YMCA. It went well, and the employer will look for a position for me. She even passed my information on to a bunch of her colleagues to see if they had a spot that was more fitting to my schedule. She then allowed me to take a free spinning class. So much fun! I had two delicious meals, one being Flying Biscuit with a friend, another was homemade indian food from one of my bff's new boy friends. He has made a good impression on me... Or my stomach at least. I hung out with my wonderful roommates Kate and Bekah in our BEAUTIFUL NoDa home. I still cannot believe I live in such a place. It blows my mind. I had the best night of sleep I have had in weeks.

Tuesday: Relaxing morning with fresh French pressed coffee from the comforts of my own home and yogurt with blueberries. Yum. Then a run downtown where a homeless man gave me a medal. I chose to believe that it was a kind act that ministered to my character. A man with nothing saw me and was compelled to scrounge the bottoms of his napsack for a keepsake. That is beautiful! The only hang up of the day was that my key to our building didn't work, which just meant I had to go back to visit Bekah at work to get hers. Then I decorated my room with lattice, a window, and the old desk; I am going for a cottage/vintage feel. Bekah came home early from work and we chatted while multi-tasking. We ate leftover indian cuisine for dinner, waited on Kate, and then faced the storm to go to Church. The message spoke to all of us, and we laughed as things said in the sermon paralleled conversations we previously had with one another. I was convicted about areas of pride in my life and how I view "my calling". It was a good reminder that what I do in the future has little relevance to how I live my life now. Life is not about what I can do, but how I respond. Good stuff!

Wednesday: Woke up early to go for a run with my friend Michelle and then came home to make a journal to give to a Raleigh roommate for her trip to Africa. I had lunch with another friend in which I killed some pride. It was a bit scary, but I figured the cost was worth it. Pride has no place here. And guess what? It wasn't bad at all, it was freedom. I drove back to Raleigh and ran some errands. Sarah and her boy friend had made a delicious blueberry cake that I got to taste, and then I went to bed.

Thursday: The BEST day of all. The banana bag of all banana bags. I started my day with some meditation on the fact that I am not defined by what occupation I have, or what role I play, but that it is how I respond. I was given the opportunity to work in the ICU and absolutely loved it! Perhaps it was my outlook, or maybe it really was a good fit. Who knows. When I arrived I went into the break room and listened to discussion. I was told to follow a nurse named Veronica (she is from Nigeria, very cool!), but when the charge nurse announced this at the meeting, Veronica's bulging eyes indicated that no one had informed her about this pairing. I was a bit concerned that it would not be fun or go well, but I was determined to respond out of joy. I asked V about ICU and if her children were going to be nurses and she told me she told them all never to be. I asked why and she said it was because her job was stressful, and that she wasn't paid nearly enough. She said I should continue my education and not stop at being a nurse... that I should be an CRNA (Nurse Anesthetist), or a Nurse Practitioner, or a doctor, but that I should never be a bedside nurse. She told me she didn't like teaching either. All of that was a little discouraging, but I pressed on. There wasn't too much for me to do because ICU nurses only take care of 1-3 patients at a time, enabling the nurse to provide for most of the needs. I decided I was not going to sit around so I started asking everyone on the unit. Slowly, they all started to give me tasks. At 12 I went with V to a meeting and she became more and more open to me. She pulled a seat next to her and included me in conversation. She was nice from the start, but I began to feel more like a welcomed presence instead of a her seeing me as a pesky student. At 1 I had my evaluation with Yolanda, the 5th floor nurse manager, and was very encouraged by that as well. Just like everyone else I meet, she too gave me career advice, telling me to work at the bedside for a few years before trying to specialize or go back to school, and how to make myself marketable. I listened with a grain of salt, because I know I can't take everyone's advice. My favorite part was when she commended my current status. She said that both of the nurses i work with said I was eager to learn and doing very well. She told me that the patients all loved me and one had even talked to her about me and told her things she already knew (probably about how I was a student, etc). So cute! After the meeting I went back to the ICU with even more fuel. I took an initiative and started performing tasks before I was asked. V warmed up to me even more, and began teaching with greater depth. She told me about the patients conditions and encouraged me to think critically. I really liked the ICU and fit in well there. It was clean, organized, quite, and warm :) As a nurse, you have to constantly be thinking and making decisions. Everything isn't black and white. Towards the end of my shift, V was impressed with my observations and gave me a high five. She told me that usually they don't need Nursing Assistants but that I was a huge asset and she wanted to talk to her nurse manager about getting me on board. She told me I was going to be a great nurse. I always thought I would be bored with how much you sit and watch your people in the ICU, but I found it refreshing. My body wasn't dead tired when I got home from work! Instead, my mind felt like it had been stimulated. I also wasn't exhausted from dealing with people. I got to talk to my patients a little bit, but it wasn't a constant bombardment of emotional support, anger-determent, or mere entertainment. I also go to practice my spanish today with one of the new admissions. I was very surprised by how much I remembered from so long ago. It was so much fun!

Mike

Note: If you are a person who gets nervous when I talk about living in a city and the "what-if's", please do not read this blog.

I drove to Charlotte yesterday for an interview and am staying for a few days to hang out with my roomies, decorate, etc. This morning I decided I wanted to go on a long run down town, so I looked on MapMyRun.com for routes that other people had taken. I found a 10 mile route, but decided to alter it to make it shorter. The ran began at Freedom Park, so I drove to the spot, parked, put on my watch and Runner ID, and began my ran. As I approached a gas station on East Blvd about 5 minutes in (a nice, safe area of Downtown Charlotte), an old black man on a bicycle stopped near my path. He was trying to get my attention so I stopped. He had a smokey grey beard, baseball cap, and dirty bookbag. He appeared clean. He started saying something about how he was sorry to stop my running, but that he had something he wanted to give me. I was a little cautious, but there were plenty of people nearby, and a cop had actually just pulled up about 10 feet away to fill up his gas tank. The man introduced himself as "Mike", shook my hand, and asked me my name. I told him "Sarah" and he said, "I knew that. I'm psychic. Last girl I met I thought her name was Sarah too, but actually it was her daughters name." He chuckled and told me he had a medal for me. As he began unzipping his bookbag, he pulled out an old grocery bag. I told him I was nervous and he said, "I know I look like a terrorist, but I'm not. I just have something I want to give you. My daughter used to hand these out to people." Sure enough, he pulled out an old Kiawah Island Half Marathon blue medal. He told me how he was an x-military man and that he used to run but now lifted weights (he grabbed and flexed his bicep as he said this. I smiled at him. He told me to go get back to my run and that he hadn't wanted to interrupt me. I told him it was not a bother, and started off again. I dropped the medal off at Dilworth Coffee (Bekah was working). I told her I would explain the story later and continued on my way. I ran the next 7.5 miles downtown filled with thoughts of people, life, love, and God.

I must say, I have the best playlist ever.

Wow

This gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. How beautiful is this? A homeless man came up and started singing with this musician. Wow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDmibnRyhj4&feature=related

AWKWARD

I had a totally awkward moment today. I will preface this by saying that Duke Raleigh is a SMALL hospital. I have come into contact with almost every employee at least once, so it is weird when I notice someone new. This morning I woke up for work at the usual time but HAD to take a shower. Typically I take them at night, but I sweat profusely during my sleep last night... This also requires some explanation. We have pretty much decided to turn off the air conditioning because our last bill was over $200. Ridiculous! So instead we will sweat. For those who know me: NO. I have not been sleeping in my usual get up of sweat pants and sweat shirt with the hood over my head and 5 billion blankets. I have been instead sporting underwear and a tank top with a sheet. I am about one more night of sweat away from going completely comando. Sorry if that is "TMI". Despite the alteration of my morning routine, I still arrived at work early and was able to spend some quiet time in my car before having to clock-in at 6:45. If you are wondering why I didn't just clock-in early, it is because we are penalized if we work before our shift because we "weren't asked to come in early." As I was sitting in my car, another car speedily pulled in next to me. I made eye contact with the driver, who happened to be a young man dressed in casual clothing. I thought it was odd that 1. I have never seen him before, and 2. that he was dressed this way. The situation quickly turned awkward as I realized that my mental guessing game of who-he-was or what-department-he-was in, was accompanied by me staring. Let me rephrase that, it turned awkward when I realized the staring was mutual and that we had in fact, made eye contact. I hate when that happens and quickly looked away, hoping I would never see him again.

At 10 am I went down to the OR to watch a laproscopic gallstone removal. As I was waiting for the nurse, I saw that man again, this time dressed in scrubs and sipping on coffee in the OR. Greatttttt. I was rescued by the scrub nurse and went into the room to watch the hour long procedure which was actually pretty cool. The doctor made an incision in the woman's belly button, inflated her with gas to have better visibility, inserted three tools into small holes in the upper right abdomen, and used a video camera to navigate. The removal was done while looking at a screen, and the doctor "played around" with the camera and showed me all of the woman's internal organs. Guess what, a liver really looks like liver you would buy at the store. Gross, huh? The doctor was a nice older man with long hair who insisted on teaching me about 70's music during the procedure. It was funny. After he and the surgical tech stitched the woman up, I headed back to my floor to work. When I arrived to the elevator, I found that I was not the only one needing a lift. I was accompanied by an older gentleman with a linen cart, and of course, the young man from earlier, still dressed in his OR gear, and with a lunch box. We all got on in silence. The old man got off first, and then it was just me and the doctor man. I tried to avoid eye contact and kept glancing at the top of the elevator as if that would somehow make it climb the building faster. I have no idea why I was so intimidated/quiet. I am usually a talker and have no problem chatting up people I run into. He broke the silence and said, "I am surprised they let you get away with wearing Carolina Blue at a Duke Hospital." Instead of taking it is a joke I replied, "well actually I have to wear this color. It is called Ceil Blue." He then said something about how yes, the different floors and departments wear different colors to differentiate themselves. As the elevator stopped, I practically ran out and said something to the extent of "Have a good day." I then realized I had turned the wrong way and had gotten off on the wrong floor. Bahahaha. So dumb!!! I don't know why I acted like such a girl or was so awkward about it. I mean, he was just a cute, young, surgeon, right?? Jokes, jokes. But seriously, I do NOT act like that around strangers. I made myself laugh at how embarrassed I was. Anddd if I am being serious, I don't think I would ever be interested in a doctor. It is funny how the science of medicine is so foggy, yet many doctors appear to be black and white. I need more mystery in my life. Who knows though... I may still be a nun and collect babies from the foreign lands I visit :)

In other news, our new friend Ponni made us an amazing indian dinner tonight. Her and her fiance Kevin just moved to Raleigh from California so that Kevin can go to graduate school. They are really sweet and cute. I can't wait to get to know them better!

Dinner Experiment

Tonight I made dinner for Sarah and Sanj. I needed to use up some cucumbers, zucchini, tomato, bell pepper, mushrooms, and bread. I call it Experimental Cooking #2.

Here is what I made:

-Cucumber salad:
3 cups cucumbers, 1/2 onion, 1 Tablespoon of sugar, 1/2 teaspoon sea salt, 2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, 1 sliced tomato. Mixed & refrigerated

-Veggie Melts:
Three slices of bread, 1 zucchini-thinly sliced, 1/2 onion chopped, 1 cup mushrooms chopped, 1/2 bell pepper sliced (I used an orange one), 4 minced garlic cloves, 3 slices cheese (I used american), salt & pepper to taste, 1 tablespoon vegetable oil, water.
With the skillet on medium heat, saute the onion, mushrooms, garlic, and bell pepper in 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil. After a few minutes add a little bit of water to the skillet. After the veggies are mostly cooked, add the zucchini to the mixture. Add salt & pepper to taste. Toast the bread. Put veggies and 1 slice of cheese on top of each slice of bread. If the cheese needs help melting, put it in the microwave for a fifteen seconds.

This meal was actually VERY flavorful. The girls really liked it and I was totally proud of myself! SUCCESS!!!

G-ma & G-Pa

I took a trip to Potomac this past weekend. It was great to spend some time with the fam. Check out this awesome itinerary:

Saturday:
6am: leave Raleigh with my mom.
6am-12pm: Drive, crochet, wonderful chats, eat, drink, pee.
12pm-3pm: Shop at a huge, overwhelming mall. Learned that I prefer Goodwill's size, limited selection, and price tags much more. Plus I think thrift shopping makes you experiment more with your style. Too many choices may not always be a good thing.
3pm-5pm: Traffic, showers, hotel check-in, get ready for dinner
5pm: Old-folks-style-early-bird dinner. Pretty good Salmon with a side of green beans. Dessert of cherry with chocolate chip oatmeal crisp.
8pm: attempt to do some homework on my computer only to discover that my cd-rom doesn't work on my Mac. Bummer!

Sunday:
6:30am-8:30: C&O canal 6 mile run with my Uncle and 14-year-old cousin. Talked about prayer, God, life, running, and food.
9am: Breakfast at the hotel with the fam. 1 Uncle + 2 aunts + 2 grandparents + 2 cousins + my mom
12pm-3pm: visit the Navy Exchange. A small Sears that was tax free. I accidently tried on bras in the men's dressing room... and then left my sweater in there. After we left the Navy store I realized I had forgotten it (my mom kept calling and pressuring me to hurry up. Doesn't she know you can't rush bra shopping?!), so she and my G-pa went back to collect my lost clothing while G-ma, Aunt Jennifer, and I shopped at a fancy grocery store. I got a yummy salad and all kinds of samples. Oh the Navy Exchange also had See's chocolate, the best chocolate ever.
4pm-5pm: first nap in a while. I could get used to this! Fell asleep to the twins (my mom and aunt) chatting on the bed next to me. Kinda cute.
6pm: dinner with the while fam mentioned above with the addition of one more uncle. We ate at http://www.mykonosgrill.com/ This was seriously the BEST meal I have ever had. No joke. I ate so much. The dessert was amazing as well. I now want to go to Greece. Also, our hostess had an amazing blue nail polish on; I am putting it on my shopping list!
8pm: Went for an adventure by myself after dinner. I needed to walk... so full! I felt like my pops taking a stroll like this. Chatted with a friend from home.

Monday:
7am: "slept in", coffee and yogurt in the lobby, journal and Bible in hand. Great start to my day!
9am: round 2 of breakfast with the grandparents. Don't you love how older people find so much joy out of feeding you?? Haha.
10am: walk around my grandparents property. I love their little white fence, brick house with vines, and red barn. I hope that these buildings are preserved in time. Chat with my cuz.
11am-5:30pm: drive back. More good chats with my momma. Phone call with Miss Loffer=goodness. Lots of thoughts of future adventures swirling through my head...
6:15pm: Nog Jog with Marc. Good chats, too much heat, stomach cramps. I enjoy my new friendship with this running partner. He offers a lot of life perspective but not in a "I am so much older than you" way. I feel like he is an open older brother-ish.
8pm+: hang out with roomies, unexpected visitors, NC State ice cream eating, goodness. I really missed the girls while I was away. I can't believe there are only 4 weeks left of my internship. Weirddddd.

Thunder

Pitter patter BOOM. I absolutely love sitting out on this porch... especially during thunder storms.

Let me rephrase that... I absolutely love sitting out on the porch during thunderstorms when my computer is NOT being threatened by torrential downpours. I just had to run inside to protect this bad boy. Anywho, I would love to go to sleep right now but I must wait for my mom to get here. She is on her way up from Charlotte so that we can head to my grandparents house tomorrow am. YAY! The rest of the gals are off at a concert in Durham I think.

Here are some things that people have said to me throughout the week that have impacted me and/or made me laugh...

1. "You looked scared when you first came in here."
2. "You have holy hands."
3. "Find yourself a good country boy, honey."
4. "I think you pretend to be a naive southern belle. Now, you have showed a little more of yourself to me and we have moved on to another level of communication that you will may not reach with everyone. Don't ever open up everything to anyone, you must save some for yourself."
5. "Continue to do crafts, you need that creative outlet."
6. "Travel nurses ARE allowed to have pets."
7. "My daughter loves the operating room, but she knows she could not adapt the mindset that it takes to get through med school. That is why she chose another field of medicine"
8. "You must drive a nice car, right? What kinda car you have? You married? Got kin? I bet your momma is a great cook then."
9. "You are going to have a good life, Sarah."

Tears

I cried today for the first time in almost a year. For those of you who are close to me, you know that I have difficulty crying. It is not that I don't feel emotion, I do. I just have a difficult time embracing the vulnerability of a good cry. The ugly face, the audible sighs, the release of an uncontrolled spell. I want to cry. I even try to cry sometimes because I know it will make me feel better, but that NEVER works.

I cried today because of a patient. She didn't die, nor is she well, but I suppose I have grown rather fond of her in my heart.

I first met L* my second day on the unit. She was the patient that had part of her colon removed, a seemingly simple procedure, but the doctor messed up and punctured a portion of the intestine higher than he was supposed to. This resulted in complications and simultaneously, more surgeries. A three day in-and-out turned into a 30 day journey. She wasn't even allowed to drink water or suck on ice for the longest time.

The first time I cared for her, I had heard from the other nurses that she was a "diva." She had tattooed eyebrows and eyelashes, fake breast, manicured nails, perfect bob haircut, and was 63 years old. All of this aside, she was quite helpless looking with three tubes draining from her abdomen, a tube down her nose, a foley catheter for urine, and a newly placed colostomy bag (this is basically a poop bag outside of your body). She was very weak and dependent, but still sweet with a strong presence. As I spent time with her, I got to know her hobbies, occupation, likes, and dislikes. I learned how she loved the beach, gardening, a quiet home, and spending time with her children and grandchildren. She was once a high school teacher, then a principal, and now a college professor in education. She was divorced too. I don't know why, but we took to one another. She would ask me about my weekends, my decorating plans for my apartment, life dreams, or what I had for dinner. I enjoyed our time and I looked forward to helping her.

Today I found out that her family had decided to transfer her to another hospital. They have not been happy with their doctor group (I can't say I don't blame them, he did after all mess up), and wanted to move her to a hospital where they felt she would have a better medical advocate. L promised that the nursing care here was "superior" and told her family members and frieds that I was her favorite or that she had "just been talking about me." I often felt like she was speaking of me as a proud mother would talk about her daughter, sharing about my character and accomplishments. As I provided care for her the last time today, she told me that I was very special and blessed me. Right before she left, I walked over to her bed and told her I would miss seeing her. With that, she tenderly grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes, thanked, and wished me luck in life. I started to tear up in her room, but tried to smile. I quickly spun towards the door because I didn't want her family (including her x-hubby) to see me and forced a smile. I think I may have even tried to laugh. I took deep breaths and went to a bathroom in an empty room to let myself cry a little. A few big heaves with drops that filled the creases of my eyes, and I had collected myself again.

I am not sure why I was affected by this woman so much. Perhaps it was because I saw a glimpse of myself in her... independent and driven with perfectionist tendencies. Yet at the same time her heart was gentle, and she was scared. Today as I asked her what she was thinking, she said she couldn't believe this happened to so few people and yet it had happened to her. For the very first time I could see how afraid and vulnerable she felt.

L told me I "would receive for what I gave," little does she know how much she opened my heart. I weep the tears that she cannot cry, and that is the most beautiful gift of all.

Advice

A friend of mine brought it to my attention the other day that everyone seems to have advice for me. Go do this, go do that. On one hand I would love to have clear direction and know the outcome, but I realize that would take some of the joy away from my adventure. As much as I think I want their words and "fortune telling", as soon as I receive them I want to squeeze them out like venom to my flesh. I want to experience life on my own. I want to be open to different opportunities and follow where the compass in my heart leads.

My dad called the other night and said such encouraging words to me... I don't think he even knew how timely they were. He told me that no matter what, things would work out and not to worry. He reminded me of how things may be unconventional, but that it can work... and it will work. Trust and faith. The older I have gotten, the more I have grown to love that my father is a horse trainer. It is not a glorious job, nor is it financially "sound" or stable. I love that when my parents met, my mom encouraged him in that desire to be a horse trainer. I love that it is unconventional, but that it works. I have always had everything I ever needed, and for the most part, wanted. And best of all, I love that my dad has always gone to work smiling.

Here is a quote from "Brave New World" that I have always loved:
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."

Tailer Trash

Today I picked up a desk that I found on Craigslist.com in Durham. I got my roommate Caitlin to come with me to look at it, and when she typed in the address she found that the man, A, lived in a trailer park. I may have been more concerned about going to a trailer park to look at furniture, but because I had Caitlin with me I was not worried. As a precaution, we told all of our friends where we were going and took the trip at 10 am. First we dropped Caitlin's car off at a dealership to get fixed, and then we trekked up 70 West. We had trouble finding the place, so I called A for directions. His son answered, and told us to turn around. After we drove almost completely back to Raleigh, we called again, this time talking to A, and were told to turn around again and got proper directions. The home was 20 minutes in the opposite direction. I was really glad to have Caitlin with me, otherwise I am sure the miscommunication about location would have been trying. As we pulled into the trailer park, both Caitlin and I expressed our sense of ease for there were many toddler toys in people's yards. A's house was pepto-bismal pink, with cotton candy blue shutters and trim. NO JOKE. There was junk all over the yard too.. furniture, baby toys, vases, you name it. We knocked on the door and waited. A actually lived across the dirt road, but was helping his x-wife sell furniture and move out. As soon as he showed me the desk I knew it would be the perfect addition to my room. (I have attached a picture). There was a ton of other vintage furniture in the home and I had to force myself from trying to buy more of it. I don't think he knew what treasures he had. Oh, and he also had a tanning bed. Kind of a weird thing for a 40 year old African American man to have huh? As we loaded up the desk, he told me he had about 30 responses for this piece, but that I was the first one he called and so I had gotten it. He told me, "you were meant to have it." How cute. I encouraged him to list his other pieces as antique or vintage because he would probably get more inquiries. He appreciated my help. The best part of this story is... I only paid $35 for the desk! AND, he threw in a little metal stool. It came with a cushion, but I left it because it was dirty. A also told us that his son is a computer science major at UNCC, and that I should look for him. The chances of me meeting his son while at school are quite slim, but I told him I would.

It was a successful day! It just goes to show that one man's [trailer] trash, is another [wo]man's treasure.

Lancaster

Last night, a Raleigh friend came over to the house with her mother to visit. I began talking to her mom and found out that she is a nurse in an ER just past Lancaster, SC, in a town that has "springs" in it. She encouraged me to work in a rural hospital because of the amount of experience I would get. She said that because they are further away from a main hospital such as CMC downtown, that they see a lot of stuff in the ER that you wouldn't normally see. Burn victims, drug abuse, gun wounds, you name it! Apparently nurses get a lot more autonomy too. Her mother also told me that it is better to start somewhere like ER because then you can transfer where ever you want. A lot of times if you start out (and stay) in somewhere like Med Serg, you get "pegged" as a Med Serg nurse and have to stay there. I don't think I would mind working in SC to start off... Especially if I was close to the barn and could go ride!

I really have no idea what kind of nursing I will go into when I graduate. There are so many options! Stay in Charlotte, go to Raleigh, go overseas, travel nursing, camp nurse, graduate school, you name it! Every time I try to figure stuff out I feel like I am not supposed to worry about it right now. My other friend, Lauren, recently gave me a GRE study book because I had mentioned maybe wanting to go to grad school. When I got it, I felt like a kid who had burnt her tongue on cookies that weren't yet finished. The end will be perfectly sweet if I just wait on it.

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

I just made a s'more in the microwave. Delicious!

In other news... I am almost completely moved into the NoDa condo. I LOVE IT!!! I can't wait to post pictures when my room is finished. It is going to be magazine worthy :)

Missionaries

I am not sure I will do this story justice... but I figured I would try. Enjoy :)

Last Monday, the most amazing thing happened at work. I got my assignment, and made my morning rounds to get vital signs. One of the last patients I visited was a 40/50-something year old man appeared to have mental and physical handicaps. I figured he must have been born that way and was surprised to hear that he had a wife and children. I thought, "hmm... Maybe his wife is handicap too?" The reason I thought there was something "off" was because when I would talk to him, his mouth would remain slightly open and his eyes were glazed and unfocused as if he were looking straight through me. His body twitched and jerked and he kept grabbing at his leg saying that it hurt. I wasn't sure what to do, and continued to take his vital signs while holding my breath at his smell. I knew that he wanted or needed something, but he couldn't express to me what it was. I didn't know what to do and secretly wished that his wife would hurry up and come to the hospital so that she would take care of him. Horrible, I know. I talked to the other nursing assistant that had him as a patient a few days prior and she shared that he had Hunington's Disease, and was currently hospitalized because of a back injury. Him and his family were on vacation from Illinois and he had fallen in the middle of the night while using the restroom. When he fell, he broke the toilet, and a shattered piece went into his back, piercing straight to the bone. Apparently there was water and blood everywhere, and it was an awful sight. She told me that his wife was really sweet, and that she had told her that when her husband, P*, was in pain, that he would have more tremors. I shared this with my nurse, and she gave him some pain medicine to alleviate his symptoms.

His wife arrived shortly after breakfast, and was very bubbly. She had short brown hair, hiking pants, and a little purse back-pack. I thought she looked like she should be either at Disney World or on a safari in Africa. We talked, and I asked her (hoping) if she wanted to bathe her husband. She said she had never done a bed bath, so she wanted to watch me to learn. It ended up being the best experience ever... As I bathed P, I asked A* about Hunington's Disease and their vacation to Raleigh. She shared that the disease was progressive, and that when she married P, they had no idea that he had it. In his 30's he started to exhibit signs such as a leg twitch, and later tested positive for the gene. Slowly the disease has killed his brain cells, resulting in physical and cognitive handicaps. In fact, they were in Raleigh for a Hunington's Disease conference. She told me about all the research scientists have been doing and how much progress they have made. She did say, however, that there probably would not be a significant cure or palliative device until it was too late for P. I asked about their occupations, and A told me that they were actually missionaries in Africa when P was diagnosed with Hunington's Disease. I could not believe my ears... I had JUST been convicted a few days prior that no matter what I did or how much I "loved God", I was not entitled to perfect health. Specifically, I was challenged by the thought of becoming ill while doing something extremely philanthropic such as serving as a nurse in Africa. Chills ran across my skin as she began to tell me about the journey Hunington's Disease has sent her and her husband on... She told me how P was a Pastor, speaking 3 different languages, and lived amongst the native people. When they learned that P had HD, people told them that he would be healed because they were missionaries and were "serving God". She said she knew that God could heal P if He wanted, but that this was His will for them. She said that she had learned a lot about faith and trusting God's purpose. How this was God's will for now, even though it did not look like what she thought it should. P is a greeter at their Church in Illinois, and that countless individuals have shared with her how much of an encouragement he has been to them. He is at church every Sunday and remembers everyones names. I told A that I was amazed by her and the fact that she is faithful to him, and to God. It would have been so easy to run away from this man, for it was clear that this failing body and mind was not the individual that she married. She then told me about their children... They have two daughters -- both whom have tested positive for the HD gene :( -- and an adopted son from Africa. The son was born on the road while his mother and sisters were escaping Rowanda. When the family arrived to their refuge destination, his mother and sisters got very ill and died. A and P had been praying about adopting a child, and then this little baby boy came to them as an orphan. They said there was a lot of heartache involved in adoption, because anyone could have come and claimed him (even child soldier people that did not know him) and they would have had to oblige due to lack of rights as non-citizens. She showed me pictures of her son and told me how he is in school in Il, has straight A's, is on sports teams, and is a great kid. She was so proud!

Before I left the family for the day, I knew I needed to pray with them. I asked if I could (apparently as a nurse we are allowed to provide spiritual support so this was totally in my scope of practice!), and she joyfully said "that would be wonderful." I placed my hand on P's, and A put her arm around him. I don't remember half of what I said, but I know I thanked them for the encouragement that they were to me and for peace and healing of body and soul. When I was finished, A was crying and P had a peaceful look upon his face and said his only clear words of the day: "thank you." A walked over, hugged me, and said that this was an answered prayer. She said that she was encouraged to see someone my age convicted by the fact that my health may flee, but that only one thing remains constant. I can try to figure out how I was an answered prayer, or try to remember what I said, or analyze how crazy the whole situation was... but I know that it doesn't matter. All that matters is that in that moment, something greater happened to all of us.

Sorry for the delay...

Hello blog readers!

Sorry for the delay in entries, I have been a busy gal. I worked Sun, Mon, Wed, Thurs, each 12-hour shifts. Yikes! The shifts go by quickly, but it messes up my "routine." I like to have time every day to spend with others, and then alone, but I am unable to do that when I only have 3 hours before bedtime every night and need to clean dishes and perform other various household tasks.

I enjoy talking to my patients and have found that they give me a lot of positive feedback. There is one patient, the same fellow who likes the IV's in his veins, that told me yesterday that he really appreciated me, that I "carried myself well", that he could tell I was a good person, and has told his son about me because I was pretty. Haha. Later he told me, "If you ever want to take a break and talk to me for five minutes, just come on in. I love talkin' to ya." Then another time he told me he was going to "add me into his will" and "dance at my wedding." Maybe that is weird or bad, but he never makes me feel uncomfortable so I don't mind. Another woman who is always really quiet and seems upset said something really kind to me today. I needed to take her blood pressure and asked her how she was feeling. She said she was having trouble sleeping because people kept waking her up so I apologized . After a moment, in her same pained voice, "I am not bothered by you, you always make me smile."

As far as my nursing skills go, I am becoming much more confident in what I do. Lately my nurses will just tell me to do some of their tasks and I will go and do them by myself. It is great! Today I hung IV's and took care of a lot of patients on my own. I realized too today while I was holding my breath and dumping out a urinal that I will be prepared for motherhood if I ever have children! Haha!

I have a really amazing story to share, but I want to have time to sit down and really write it out. It deserves that much effort. Until then, this will have to suffice. Thanks for listening!

New Look Tattoo

From roaring lions to Hebrew wedding vows, I find permanent masterpieces painted upon many of my friends. Nearly half of the individuals I know have some sort of tattoo, so it is no surprise that I have thought about getting one myself. I know I would enjoy this form of self-expression, but I am almost certain the novelty would wear off and I would be ready for its removal. I have heard rumors of “temporary” ink, and have questioned the ease to which a permanent tattoo could be removed. As I researched my options, I found “New Look Laser Tattoo Removal” in Texas at http://www.newlookhouston.com/TattooRemoval.html. Interestingly enough, the Director of Clinic Practice is a Nurse Practitioner, a profession I have considered pursuing after I complete my Bachelors degree in Nursing. As I read the New Look Tattoo website, I found that laser tattoo removal is no quick fix, but rather a three-to-ten session commitment. While the office is successful at removing ink, they encourage individuals to carefully consider the long-term implications before getting a tattoo. Knowing this, I think I will continue to "opt out" of tattooing and instead enjoy the display on other people’s canvasses. Check it out!

Highlights!

Last night I was bummed about working today, a Sunday, but it has been one of my BEST days so far... Here are the highlights.

1. This morning I woke up with so much joy in my heart that I put on a worship song and danced around the house in my pjs. At 5:30 I danced with more energy and zeal than I have after a shot of espresso.
2. I made a TURKEY sandwich for lunch with delicious fresh tomatoes.
3. On the way to work I blasted wonderful tunes from a CD a new friend gave me last night.
4. My nurse preceptor and I got along wonderfully..
5. My patient made me laugh when we pushed some fluid through his IV and he said "that feels good. I love the feeling of the cold going through my vein." Drug addict?
6. This same patient had a country-talking, overall wearin', friend come visit. When he took the patient out for lunch, my nurse asked kindly, "you aren't going to smoke are you?" The friend replied, "I won't give him no cigarettes, but I may give him some of this." Chuckling, he pulled out a bag of what appeared to be weed. As he left he said, "I bet you ain't never seen that from a 68 year old, huh."
7. One of the patients brought us Panera coffee cake. YUMMM.
8. I came home and ran, sweat, and de-cluttered my mind.
9. When I made dinner there were NO ants in sight. Hallelujah!
10. After giving bed baths, I have a new appreciation for the shower I am about to take.

How He loves us

Today I had dinner with a new friend from Raleigh, and she was sharing about her life and specific hurt. As we talked, she asked me, "Have you heard the song "How He Loves"? I smiled and said I had, keeping to myself that I am good friends with the girl whose brother the song was inspired by (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NXWE6AC8ao). She continued her story, telling me how through all of this hurt and suffering in her life right now, she is closer to God than she has ever been before. That she is learning that God loves her in a deep personal way and that His heart breaks with every tear she cries. She continued on to say how the line "loves like hurricane, I am tree bending beneath the weight of His win and mercy" spoke to her during a specific low time. It was during this moment that she was driving through, you guessed it, a hurricane whose winds made the tips of trees kiss the ground. The song opened up a new door to receiving the infinite love the Lord had for her. As she told the story with joy on her lips and tears in her eyes, I couldn't help but get choked up as chills covered my body. I thought of the suffering endured by families and friends of the song-inspired man, and how out of that brokenness was birthed a song that has transformed the souls of many. That through death, a song offers hope. Wow.

Scabies

Yesterday on the unit was an interesting day... When I arrived, I found out that I would be shadowing a Wound Nurse at 9 am and the PICC team at 1 pm. Since I arrived at 6:45 am, I decided to ask the nurses and nurse aides if there was anything I could do to help pass the time in between. One nurse assistant asked me to take 4 of her patients' morning vital signs. I happily agreed and went on my way. As I got to my last patient, a 40+/- year old big man with a long grey pony tail, I began taking vital signs while a respiratory nurse explained a breathing treatment to him (he has breathing difficulties and was a chronic smoker.) I had forgotten to write down the results on the clip board in the patient's room, so I walked back in after the nurses had left. While I was in there charting, the patient started coughing, fell back onto his bed, turned bright red, and was shaking. I rushed over to him and asked if he was ok, only to have no response. I wasn't sure what to do so I ran down the hall calling out "I need help." One nurse asked if I needed the "Rapid Response Team" but I told her I wasn't sure. The respiratory nurse came back to the room with me only to find the patient sitting upright saying with twang, "I must've passed out." The respiratory nurse said to me, "he's fine." I was so embarrassed. I don't want a reputation as being the little student who cries wolf. After some reflection I realized that I should not worry what others thought, for I acted as I should have. If there had been something very wrong with the patient, every second would have counted. I talked to my supervisor later that afternoon and she told me I did the right thing which lead to good conversation about different hospital protocol.

I then followed around the Wound Nurse. We saw a lot of pressure ulcers and diabetic feet. It was interesting, and I like the fact that wound healing is measurable. It's not a game of "let's try this and see how you feel." Instead you can try a method and actually see if the wound is getting smaller. When I came back to the floor to take my lunch break, I was informed that the patient who pretended to die on me was now on contact precautions because he had scabies. Everyone who had touched him or been in his room now how to give their information to Employee Health for follow up. Apparently the doctor had known all along that the patient had scabies but failed to pass it along to the rest of us. NOT cool. I was concerned and washed my hands and arms well. One nursing assistant started telling me that scabies could cover your entire body and kill you. That was not a good feeling. I talked to another nurse though, and she said her baby had gotten it from day care and that it wasn't that big of a deal. She said that if I got scabies I would just have to take medicine, wash my clothes and sheets, and not touch anyone. That made me feel a bit better, but I still was not happy.

Then I followed around the PICC nurse. A PICC line is an IV that is inserted and then advanced through increasingly larger veins, toward the heart until the tip rests in the distal superior vena cava or cavoatrial junction, connected to the heart. This is a dangerous procedure, and the team that performs them is specially trained. Unfortunately, no PICCs were ordered on Tuesday, so instead I talked with the nurse about how she is in the process of getting her black belt in Karate. haha. We went for a walk around the hospital together, drank cokes, and had a merry time. Around 4 I went back to the 5th floor and did random tasks such as answering call bells, helping lift patients, and answering the telephone. At 6:45, I went with the nursing assistant to get scrubs from the basement to change into so our "scabies scrubs" would not contaminate our cars.

I knew I should get home to wash my clothes, but I really just needed a moment to reflect, pray, etc, before I continued on. I wanted to go get dinner somewhere and read and had a peace about going, so I did it. Plus I figured if I had caught scabies already, prolonging my shower an extra 30 minutes would not have made much of a difference. While I was eating dinner it occurred to me, "what if I did get scabies even after having a peace about having this time to myself? Would that cause me to question that peace? How would that change my view of God? Would I still trust Him? Would I be mad?" Then I thought even larger... what if I was called to do missions in Africa and then got AIDS while I was helping a child? Would I question God then? Would I be ok with that? As sad as this sounds, I don't think I can honestly say yes. I can't say that I wouldn't be upset. I can't say that my faith would not be shaken. I hate it. It is like I feel entitled to my health. I suppose the first step is recognition and the submission. I know that health, money, and things are fleeting... My life must be built on the Rock that is unfailing.

Nog Jog

Today Sarah Joyce and I had a "date" day. We woke up late (7:15 is late for me), went to the lake to tan, got smoothies, did a little shopping, and then went to "Nog Jog." The place we shopped was called "Sugar Magnolia's." It is a fair trade store where everything costs 15 dollars or less. I got four good quality solid shirts for 29 bucks. Holler! Then we went to Nog Jog. Check it out: http://www.nogrunclub.com/ I ended up running with this random man named Mike because a volunteer paired us together. I told her my pace, and that it was my first time, and she sought Mike out. He was sweet and talked to me a little about Charlotte and his 7 year old daughter. He did not seem that much younger than my dad though. After the run! you could pay $1 to get a pasta dinner, salad, bread, and water. It is a really neat event and I will probably do it again. I left before trivia to go home and prepare for tomorrows big day at work and pack for the weekend. Guess what?! I am coming to Charlotte for the weekend. I can't wait!!! I have a dermatologist appointment, a mentor meeting, and a group triathlon with team CTS. It is going to be great!

1 Peter 4:8-11

As I was on my way out this morning, I noticed an old note that Kayla had written for the other girls during the school year. It said, "check out 1 Peter 4:8-11." I was bummed about having to work on a Sunday and decided I would make it a point to have my own "Church" and read this verse before I started my shift. I listened to a worship cd that Kelly had given me in the car and when I got to the hospital I pulled out my little Bible and sat at a table in the "cafe", which is really a gross cafeteria. The verse read: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." What a perfect thing to read! I felt bad for the way I had trash talked that one "gross" patient, and decided to go into work with a heart longing to serve no matter who my patient was.

The day did indeed turn out to be much easier, and a lot of that had to do with the fact that I actually knew what my job was. I was able to manage my time, talk with patients, and change wound dressings all by myself! I joked with the nurse saying that I was good at them because of all my time with horses growing up. In all honesty, I think that is why. Where else would I have learned to pull across the bone and wrap around the tendon? Or to pull off the dead tissue to allow for better healing? The nurse also called me in to the room when she started an IV, passed meds, and did various other nursing tasks. I was able to participate in an IV flush, give some meds, and apply a nicoderm patch. She also gave me career advice in saying that I should get a job in the ICU or another critical care area to start, because it is always easier to move somewhere that requires less experience than it is to move up the totem poll. Makes sense. I do think the verse I read affected my attitude, because when I was making my rounds at the end of the night, all of my patients poured words of endearment and encouragement over me. It was really sweet.

It was so surreal when the night shift came to alleviate us. It was the same people I saw Saturday night and again this morning. I think it hit me that there are two groups of people that stay with the patients around the clock and that I am now a part of that. It also made me realize how long I had been there; 6:30am-7:15pm is a long time. Right now, the nurses are there doing what I did a few hours ago. It's so weird!

Sorry if my spelling or grammar is bad in these things. I am usually tired when I pen them. The sandman is waiting. Goodnight!

Nursing is gross

As I write this post I am exhausted and sitting on the couch in a silent home (Kayla is at camp, Caitlin is at the beach, and Sarah is in Charlotte visiting her older brother). I am enjoying a bowl of frozen yogurt with blueberries except for the fact that I keep finding ants on my arm. I wish I was joking about that the ants, but I am totally not. We have an ant problem in the Ashburton kitchen and silly me left my computer on the counter. Who would have thought the ants would have climbed on my MacBook and then traveled with me to the living room. I guess they were confused about what kind of apple it was. Har har.

Today I worked my first 12 hour shift, solo. I felt bad for my nurse preceptor because I wasn't really sure what my role was and there was a slight learning curve. The one day during orientation that a nurse aid was supposed to "show me the ropes", she ended up just telling me about her boy friend and kid, then I ended up doing odd jobs for the nurses. Today I was basically thrown in with the wolves. I think it was good though because it forced me to learn everything quickly. Not only did I do the basic nurse aid tasks, but my preceptor called me into the rooms whenever she was doing wound care or discontinuing IV's so that I could do them. Did I mention that one of the nurses on the floor called in sick today too? We had extra patients, I had a real job and an unofficial role, AND most of our patients were completely immobile. I was running around like a mad man the whole time. One of the female patients made me feel completely gross. I feel horrible saying this, but she did. She was obese, incontinent, had edema (swelling of the legs that makes them rock hard), sloughing black skin, was dirty, smelly, etc etc etc. The worse part was that it was like she was embracing her state. She called me every 30 minutes to put her on the bed pan, to get her off the bed pan (then she said she couldn't use the bed pan. I asked her why and she acted like I was stupid for asking her that), to give her bath in bed; she asked for cookies, ice cream, for the telephone to be moved closer to her ear, for me to fill out her meal selections for the next day, for me to call the nurse. It was ridiculous. Physical therapy was supposed to work with her to get her out of bed, and when I went in the room after they had left I saw her in an awkward position with one shoe on, with her saying "they just left and they aren't coming back." She thought it was funny. The whole time we tried to help her she would complain and moan or say "oh save me Jesus," but then as if verbally slapping us in the face she would say thank you. At one point the nurse and I were assisting her to use the bathroom on the bed pan. The nurse rolled up the bed linens and when she did, a bunch of dead skin and dirt went flying into my face. It was the most disgusting thing ever. I don't mind packing or cleaning wounds, or even wiping people after they use the bathroom, but this really bothered me. It was purely bad hygiene. I took a shower as soon as I got home.

The rest of my patients were physically difficult, but mentally not. They were as compliant as they could be. There was one old man with a lot of medical problems who couldn't remember much. He started throwing up after dinner and said, "I am done. Look at me, I am falling apart," in the saddest, most sincere voice. His daughter was there and said, "no you aren't daddy, your stomach is just upset after dialysis" (kidney treatment). It was so sad. Another one of my patients was talking about her granddaughter in China and how she had something called a "blog" and asked me what it was. I laughed and told her. He granddaughter is teaching English there.

I think I would like to be an OR nurse. I love the cutting and sewing, and everything is sterile! Maybe I would have a hard time because it is so cold, but I could just layer up. It would be worth it to me, I think. Eh I guess I don't need to figure that out yet either. It is only the first day!

Sleep beckons!

I am sitting on the porch, my favorite spot of the Ashburton House, and thought I would show off the AWESOME bracelet that Kayla gave me. It is from Uganda (she came back a few weeks ago). She only gave me the bracelet if I promised to pray for the Uganda children. I told her I would. Africa is such a different place than China... I think I would like to go there someday. I still want to do Mercy Ships, so maybe that will be my golden ticket. Also, please note the amazing necklace I am wearing made by Rebekah Loffer. My favorite jewelry pieces are things she has crafted for me... Did I mention she is a wonderful human being too? I will be living with her and Kate Rouse (also a lovely person) when I move back to Charlotte in August. I can't wait!!!

Dance, Dance

I have a friend from Charlotte whose sister is spending the summer at a dance camp/school at Duke University. I had met her once, but because she is living in Raleigh we decided it would be fun to hang out. I figured if her brother was a fun guy, surely she would be too (she was!) Last night we drank lattes together at the Royal Bean, a coffee shop. The barista was actually a girl I met my freshman year at NCSU. Small world! After talking to my new friend about her summer dance school, I decided I was going to make my "I want to learn how to dance" a reality. I have tried signing up for classes at UNCC before, but the nursing curriculum made it impossible. When I came home from our outting, I told my roommate Caitlin, a trained dancer, that I wanted her to give me a lesson on Thursday/today. She agreed, and I am pleased to announce that I had my first dance lesson today! We put on our swim suits and plie'-ed, twirled, leapt, and jumped. It was fun, but I had to think a lot. Butt tight, pelvis tucked, shoulders relaxed, feet flat, all while having a string pull my head straight. I asked for Caitlin to give me homework to practice and had fun "showing off" to my other roommates. I look like a 3 year old. haha.

I also went to Bikram/hot yoga this morning. I was not a fan. I liked that it was warm, but not 100 degrees!!! It smelled too. The instructor was not very hands-on either. I feel like if I am going to pay someone to "lead my yoga practice", that I want them to adjust and correct my positioning. Oh well, lesson learned. I definitely sweat a lot, and soaked through my clothing. You would have thought I jumped in a pool. I guess that means I am "cleansed" or whatever. All I know is I felt gross during the class, and almost like I wanted to throw up. Funnnn.

I think my other roommate Kayla is cooking dinner tonight. She is a GREAT little chef. She is leaving in a few days for camp, so hopefully I can learn some of her cooking skills while she is still here. She gave me a bracelet from Uganda today but only if I promised to pray for the Ugandan people. I told her I would :)

Time to go to the grocery store! Later folks!